Do you agree with the ideas from the book 'He's just not that into you'?

[hippychick11]

I'm just wondering if that really is true because I personally would LOVE to know how a man thinks.

If he really likes a girl than he's going to go to the ends of the earth to make her his?

So if he doesn't call you right away, does this mean that he's not really into you? Or if you ask him to come up stairs after a date and he politely declines, this means he's not really into you? I dont know, I dont get it!

 

What do you think? could this book have some valid ideas about men and dating?

[dramallama]

I love that book! I think there are always exceptions, such as a guy might really have an early morning the next day, but in that case, he will decline, but then very soon afterwards lock you in for the next date. I think it's easier to make excuses to why someone can't be with you (he's so busy, he's just scared to be in a relationship right now etc) than to face the truth that they are not as into you as you are them. But, as I say, the truth will set you free to be with someone that will have no problem in committing to you. Everyone read this book!

[velvette]

I think so! though it doesn't apply to just men, also women. everyone deserves someone who WANTS to be with them, no ifs ands or buts. too many excuses for why s/he won't date you, and s/he's just not that into you! (though girls might be more used to being chased, haha)

[superfox]

I hate self help books BUT that one is genius, it was my bible for ages

Id read bits every night when this guy I was into didn't call and it made me feel so much better - in a sick way! Turns out he wasn't that into me, or maybe he was, but his wife was into him!!!

Lucky escape

 

It's a great book.

[quirky]

Sadly I do agree with a lot of the ideas in that book, took a lot of the confusion away when I was dating or even when I was making excuses for my then ex.

Very funny book as well.

[CorpseGrinder]

Not for all men. I wouldn't go to the ends of the earth for anyone. In my life no one is more important than me, and I wouldn't even go to the ends of the earth for me either.

[Hanyou]

I don't consider myself the 'average' guy, as I don't believe in playing games, only date those that I see myself with for longer than 3 months rather than date for the sake of dating, and believe honesty is probably the best trait you can have; so here's my take on it.

 

I would go to the ends of the world for her, but would like to know I have a chance. Perhaps she's confused, but if I genuinely feel she's pushing me away (not because she's confused, but doesn't see a future with me), then no, I wouldn't chase after her. I think a real man would respect her decision, but isn't afraid to be a fool if the reward is worth it.

 

If he doesn't call you within a day, then he DOESN'T KNOW if he likes you or he feels his best chance with you is to play that push-pull game. I blame modern society for instilling that 'culture' in our brains. I would definitely call you the next day if I was interested, but again, if I feel you're not in it or want to play hard-to-get, then I don't think you're worth it.

 

Finding your mate is a life-long prize, but not if you're up for grabs by the one that tries the hardest. I should earn you because we match emotionally, spiritually and physically, not b/c I can deal with some BS game over the other guys.

[geekgirl4]

I thought it had a lot of good points. I think one thing that wasn't in there is how we should take action too. I think sometimes even the good people mistakenly play the game to shelter themselves. I'm planning on trying a new tactic where if I do give my number to someone I'm interested in I let them know right away that I'm not into playing games. We'll see how that goes! Honestly, you can only get a certain type of person by the way you yourself act. If you like someone straightforward, then you should be straightforward too and whoever reciprocates back is the person for you.

[dramallama]

If he doesn't call you within a day, then he DOESN'T KNOW if he likes you or he feels his best chance with you is to play that push-pull game. I blame modern society for instilling that 'culture' in our brains. I would definitely call you the next day if I was interested, but again, if I feel you're not in it or want to play hard-to-get, then I don't think you're worth it

I think the calling within a day for guys rule is blown out of proportion. One, two, or three days doesn't really matter, because what you should be looking at is the bigger picture. Is he locking you in for future dates? Is he reliable? Does he make you feel like you are important in a relationship? Does he show you that he cares? etc Anything over 7 days is just laziness, because it makes me think "has he gone on another date between when I gave him my number and now, and I'm the second choice?" Whether that is true or not, it just gives the wrong impression to a woman.

 

But anything longer than 5 days to lock in a date CONSISTANTLY during the dating stage is a bit of a red flag, because when a guy is into you, he will lock you in for the next date either on the spot or very soon afterwards. And how long does it take to call someone during his lunch break, or send a text of a funny joke just so that you don't forget him...? Virtually no time. When I guy is into you, you won't have to make excuses for him because there will be no room for misinterpretation that he IS into you. You won't have to look for signs, because he will be holding one above his head.