Hey guys

[rotty]

Well i've posted on here a few times read more then i've written mind you and learnt a hell of a lot, like alot of people have sent this site is a god sent, lucky for me i found it just at the right time and it calmed me right down and guided me in the way i needed to be with my ex, well things were going good between us we were going out every now and again just spontaneously nothing planned and i was happy about that, i was keeping it light and happy and make her feel comfortable around me we stayed of the hole subject of us and the subject of other people, as i wasnt ready and i doubt she was either, so yesturday we had a bit of a breakthrew she kept asking me about this girl she over read me talking about when i didnt relise she was online not in a bad way just a curious jelous sort of way i sorta just ignore her to start with then eventually loosened up and told her then i had to go so i left, she also had to work and leave, so we left it at that, once she'd finished work which was 10:30 pm she rang me, which is pretty unusual i mean she calls every now and again but not straight after work anyways i asked her wats up and she was wondering if i wanted to go get a late night snack i said yeah sure why not, had the day of work today so we went just too a 24 hour subway sat and talked for a good 2 hours didnt even relise the time was passing every thing came out about the chick i am "sort" of seeing and how im going to stop it and the guy she's sort of seeing and cant stand the sight of him. it was awsome to talk to her that comfortablly again i told her that and told her i respected her for wat she did, cause we fully needed a break she agreed, anyways i said to her lets get out of here, so we left and i thought that was it i expected her to drop me home and leave it at that, much to my amazment when we were close to my place keeping in mind it was 2am by now she said to me "you want to watch a movie or something" i had no problems with that so i agreed, things were good again during that i kept my distance and made sure i didnt touch her, she ended up staying the night and we lay there talking and flirting till 5:30 this morning again i didnt touch things were said and i new i could have made a move but i thought at this point things will be better if i just make her more relaxed first so i did, she left not so long ago but she has to come back to pick up her car, not sure if she left it here so she had a reason to come back or what, but basically what im trying to say for all you dedicated people who did read this, is if you do the right things you can get them back im not saying i've got this girl back im still along way from it but i know im the only guy in her life right now and im a guy who's putting no pressure on her or asking anything from her, she's chasing me not the other way round. if anyone wants to give me any advice where to go from here that'd be great, if not i hope i gave some of you people out there a bit of hope and things do work out if not for the best they always work out.

take it eazy people

[craigblitz]

"is if you do the right things you can get them back"

 

I don't 100% agree with this. I think love brings them back. I am still not 100% convinced there are strategies that bring back lost love. There are things that you can do not to drive them further away like you said but the bottom line is they are the ones who have to come back and do the chasing. As Danimal and BEEC will agree there are things you can do to speed the process and help them realize they miss you but in the end they have to make that call.

 

As far as specific advice for you.... I think you are doing things wonderfully. Obviously it is working so why change it up, right. I will however offer this piece of caution.... be prepared to be patient and understanding. Right now you are on a high of seeing her and that is awsome, but it could be a couple days before you see her again. During this time it is easy to lose patience and push the issue... my advise dont. Look at all contact with the ex just an added bonus, but at the same time do not allow yourself to be her "downtime" or fall back.

 

I think things are going great from what you have posted just keep it up no pressure and see where the cards land.

[rotty]

cheers craig man, and i do agree with you, love does bring them back, and there are things that can be done to speed things up, i think i've done those things, i think right now im in a better place with her then i was 4 months prior to us breaking up, where enjoying each other companys laughing about things friends laugh about eg, sex, and flirting all at the same time its weird i've decided to back of a bit till maybe the weekend let her see how she feels about wat was said the other night, cheers for replying man meant alot and i will be patient time is on our side right?

[LostAngel]

Hi rotty

 

ABOUT WHAT BRINGS THEM BACK...

I THINK IT'S BOTH -LOVE (MOST IMPORTANTLY) BUT ALSO WHAT YOU SAY & DO THAT IS VITALY IMPORTANT.

 

HANG IN THERE

 

I think you are doing GREAT...Let her take her time..

 

THIS GIVES YOU MORE TIME TO FIGURE A WAY TO SORT OUT THE REASONS FOR THE BREAK UP IN THE FIRST PLACE.

 

Let her come to you...By doing this she is feeling less & less pressured.

She is making up her own mind...

 

THAT IS JUST WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR... I BET

 

Well done!!! I CANT WAIT TO BE WHERE YOU ARE AT NOW...

[rotty]

cheers lostangel,

 

Since i last posted she msged me after work again pretty late at night, asking if i want to go out and grab a bight, i agreed so we sat there talking, she's never keen on leaving im always the one who wants to go. I was at her place last night we just got a heap of junk food and hired out a few movies, i've decided not to call her over the weekend, if she wants to get in contact with me thats fine but i've already made plans and i am not going to change them for her.

 

I hope you get your chance lostangel, i hope i dont stuff mine up. weird world this one we live in with weird rules hehe the rules of attraction hey...

[LostAngel]

Hi rotty

 

You are doing fine... You won't "stuff up" THINK POSITIVE...

 

The only way you could is if things went back to how they were when you broke up & that is not going to happen.. YOU CANNOT LET IT...

 

Just keep going & think carefully about all you say & do...

 

About not changing your plans over the weekend! YOU GAVE ME A BIT TO THINK ABOUT -

I'm going away next week for a week & I think my ex is upset about it -

 

I ALMOST THOUGHT OF CANCELLING BUT I'm NOT -hopefully that time away will give him even more of a wake up call..

 

Well hope it all goes well...

[rotty]

good call angel, dont change anything for him, remember your living your life now, yes you want him to be apart of it, but not by bowing to all his wishes let him work for you, i find that people who dump the other person always feel as if they have the power and when that powers taken away they dont no how to handle it, thats the vibes im getting from my ex now. im showing her i dont need, yes i'd like her but i can go on with out her and i will and have met other girls thats what makes me think she's trying to get back into my life..... i hope you have a great trip make sure you have loads of fun and try not to think about your ex, let him worry about you

[LostAngel]

Hi Rotty

 

I'm back from my week away.

 

BUT UNFORTUNATELY BACK TO WHERE I STARTED -IF NOT WORSE...

 

IF YOU WANT YOU CAN READ MY POST FOR AN UPDATE...

"I'm not sure what to do -I JUST WANT TO BE WITH HIM"

 

I THINK I HAVE LOST MY EX FOR GOOD -YESTERDAY HE ENDED EVERYTHING -WERE NOT EVEN FRIENDS ANYMORE & ARE NOT EVEN GOING TO SPEAK ANYMORE...

 

THE POWER THING YOU TOLD ME ABOUT -IS TRUE BUT NOW I HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO DO -HOW CAN I GET POWER BACK??? WHEN WE NOT EVEN GOING TO TALK ANYMORE???

 

I HOPE I CAN GET TO THE POINT WHERE YOU ARE -THAT YOU HAVE A CHANCE OF GETTING HER BACK.

 

I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I EVEN HAVE A CHANCE

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT ELSE THERE IS I CAN DO...

 

I AM OUT OF OPTIONS...I AM BACK WHERE I STARTED & AM EVEN MORE HURT ALL OVER AGAIN...

 

BUT YET I DON'T WANT TO LOOSE HIM & WILL DO ANYTHING TO FIX THIS...

 

HOW ARE THINGS WITH YOU??? SO FAR -I HOPE YOU HAVE HAD MORE LUCK THAN ME...

 

I JUST WANT TO CLOSE MY EYES & NEVER WAKE UP...

 

 

LostAngel