Doing the NC route...but he's calling me!*?

[roo]

On July 4th, my b/f of 2 1/2 years called me - drunk - and informed me that he "is not in love with me." This did not come as a shock to me, but it was still very hurtful. I decided then and there to not talk to him anymore and was finished with his abuse. So, for four weeks I have done the NC thing. A week ago today, I found out he is seeing someone else and that really tore me apart. But then on Friday, he calls my cell phone and does not leave a message. Needless to say I have not returned his phone call. Every day I feel myself getting stronger and more accepting of his feeling and MY decision to move on.

 

This is the second time he has done this to me. In March, 2003, I got pg. He was angry and said he did not love me and never cared about me. I lost the baby and I attribute it to the stress. By the way, he accused me of making up the entire pg. So I had the doctor send him proof of my miscarriage. So for 7 months, I never called him, but he would call me about once a month - just to talk. I was pretty stupid back then and would actually answer his calls. Although he never wanted to see me or make an attempt to be with me. In November, 2003, I saw him at a race (we both run) and we started seeing each other again. I really thought we could make it work. At the same time, I thought I wouldn't let me heart get as involved as I did the first time - but I did and he's pulling the same crap all over again.

 

I am just so curious as to why if he does not love me, why is he trying to contact me? Why on earth would he do such a thing? Is he just trying to keep a "string" attached - just in case? If he does try to call again, should I continue to do the NC? How long before he gets the message?

[Prince]

hey. I cant say I truly know your situation. But a while back I had this girlfriend who meant alot to me. When we broke up, I didnt want to see her again, I was over her. But all the same, the intimacy that may be achieved over the course of a realationship is not something that is lost lightly. I would still go to the place where she works just to see if she was there. Or sometimes I might ring her to see how shes doing. I have no doubt, that from a strictly behvioural point of view, your ex-boyfriend is just " keeping his options open", but thats not soemthing I would judge too harshly- when we feel a bit lonely we will do anything for that mild comfort of knowing theres other people out the

 

In my opinion, and this is just mine, you have been treated wrongly in so many respects. Although I encourgae you to take the view which best reflects your feelings, I would not take his "want of contact" seriously. Hes not worth that. If he was disloyal to you twice, and thats one too many (given you yourslef were not at fault), then there is almost certainty he has no intention of returning to you as a "new man" so to speak.

 

Just whatever you do, dont make the mistake of convincing yourself that you still have feelings for him.

[Tinkerbell]

The whole pregnancy ordeal is more than enough for me to think that this guy is a jerk and you can do much better. No contact was a good idea, so keep it up, I don't understand why he'd be calling you when he's in a relationship other than for the same reason you already guessed; "to keep a string attached." If it was important he would've left you a message or called you back. You're doing the right thing by trying to get over him, you're better off without, keep on ignoring his calls (if there are any more) and soon enough he'll get the picture.

[broken15]

ok listen to me. If he calls ignore him Do not call him back. Hes a jerk. He doesnt deserve you. You seem like a sweet girl by your post. If you start talkin to him again, you will start wanting him back, and if u get involved again....u may think you wont get so attached but you will. The same thing sorta happened to me. My ex called me and I didnt call him back, and im not planning on it. Good luck