Desperately need advice

[gemkaym]

i just turned 15, and this was my first time in love. his name s alex, and we met one night at a social grouping and just hit it off. we talked the entire evening, and i went home with the biggest buzz and the best feeling insode me - i was so happy. we talked alot after that, and i totally smitten - i thought he was too. we have known each other a few months now, and every minute of the day hes on my mind - it drives my friends nuts! i decided that i wasnt gonna keep my feelings hidden any more, and that i should jst go ahead and ask him out. I was gonna ask him out today to see wether he could do something with me this weekend - and he tells me just before i asked that he has a date with some michelle girl! i am in shock! .................................................................................................................................................................................................................. the conversation went........ (me) "so, are you doing anything this weekend??? (alex) yea - i have a date with this really awesome girl named michelle (me) oh - ummm...... who's she? (alex) someone i met in my new class - she is so aweome!!!! ........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ as you can probably guess i am flabbergasted and i would really appreciate some advice from someone with experience and who has gone through what i have - ne suggestions on how to deal with this hurt?

[couldbeme86]

just tell him how you feel. you never know, he might feel the same way and think he has no chance with you.later.

rc

[paul475]

...this happened to me. Many times.

 

The buzz you were feeling was infatuation. But, in this case, you were filling in alot of the empty space that he wasn't. You were fantasizing and believing that this guy was somewhere he wasn't.

 

Never trust yourself around people that trigger this "disconnect" in you. This is love-hunger and it is something you have to get a handle on or you will be repeatedly victimized, if not outright emotionally raped, by the serial predators that bounce from one woman to another.

 

Rather than just trying to control yourself and be appropriate, quit hiding. If you're sick or ill, that's going to come out. Don't be afraid to make mistakes and to learn. You will waste time holding out for the right time to tell someone how you feel about them. Nothing keeps everyone honest like open and truthful communication.

 

The other thing I see that you're doing here that I did is that you aren't truly listening to the other person. The buzz is making it hard to hear what the other person is REALLY saying to you. Some people say one thing but their body language, tone of voice, or eye contact says something completely different. Anytime you get mixed messages, ask about it. Politely. But know full well that if someone's attentions are not maintaining a "reasonable" focus on you (this will depend on the social situation and circumstances of the conversation), then this is HOW THEY WILL RELATE TO YOU AS A PARTNER.

 

I have saved myself many days of untolled grief by simply keeping my brain engaged while I tried to have a simple conversation with the person that was holding my interest. I usually discovered that what they were pulling my me in to tell me, contrary to their words, was that my eyesight and fantasies were not satisfactory barometers for judging a person's fitness for a relationship with me.

[stacey]

hey i knw exactly how ya feel im 14 n never been kissd cos everytime i get askd i freak out n say no i think u should jst tell this guy that you would of askd him out if he never went out wi michelle n just see what he says if he doesnt say much pretend u are not that botherd bout it n either flirt with him him ova or be really close m8s wi him n talk about a fake guy to him that may make him jealous. k hun hope it helps luv stace x x x x x x xx