Vent: Moment of truth this weekend

[ks240030]

This post is just a vent that this weekend I am going to find out if my boyfriend of close to 2 years is ready to move the relationship to the next level.

 

We had a serious conversation last weekend and we both agreed that we would not talk for the entire week so he could really think about our relationship and figure out what he wants. He is not sure if he wants marriage and he knows I do.

 

I am preparing for the worst case scenario that he does not want marriage. He admits to me that he is confused but he knows that it is time to let me know if he wants the relationship to move forward or not. I am not asking him to marry me right now but I am asking him if he is sure about us and to discuss a timeline that BOTH OF US are comfortable with.

 

Both of us are in our mid-30's and almost everything is in order for us to go to the next level. I know that he loves me but he has commitment issues. He is so afraid of making a mistake. I am expecting the bad news but hoping against all odds that he will realize that he is loves me too much to let me go but the odds are against me.

[Timbertea]

So, how did that work out?

[Batya33]

Good luck! Why do you think he has commitment issues in general? I think we're all afraid of taking the plunge - at least some fears or trepidation but that's not an issue, that's pretty normal IMO. Has he sought counseling for the issues he believes he has? It's good of him to take this time and to not keep you waiting. I don't think it's a long enough time for him to miss you and to experience what life would be like without you but at least it's some space.

It took me a long time to feel good about getting married (which I wanted to do since I was a teenager) - to get over the generalized anxiety, the overanalyzing, etc. Part of it was meeting the right person, part was being the right person and part was simply being comfortable with taking the leap of faith despite knowing what a huge commitment it was. Ironically my wedding ceremony was one of the most calm, centered and yet magical experiences of my life -at age 42. Sure he might have issues but I also think he has to be in a head and heart place where he is willing to take the risk -just like he's taken risks with you before by being vulnerable, falling in love, commiting to you as your boyfriend, etc.