Why...........?

[LonelyAmaris]

I am very Despondant. His mood changed again

He is acting so testy with me and am not sure why. He s being really dismissive towards me. I am really tired of this. I am slowly deluging deeper into depression. I am bordering on suicidal. I mean its just been one thing after another. I really don't know what to do anymore. I am scared of his changing moods. What do they mean even more what do they mena for me. What am I going to have to deal with next.....

 

He is being so mean I am downstairs crying. He is acting like I did something wrong but keeps telling me I haven't. He plays head games like this. So am downstairs not in the room. I hate when his mood changes like this. I am so angry at life and angry with myself and angry despondent distraught and overwhelmed with everything...with him. I wish I knew what to expect from him. He doesn't let me in. Then acts like a jerk to me. He acts like he has resentment towards me. WHY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHat did I do to him...?? I wish I had somewhere to go. He can be so rude and mean to me. What did I ever do to him ...????????I am bawling now tring to hold it in. He is such a ( meanie: I remembered Ms. BELLADONNA LOL ) to me. I am sensitive and a very feeling person.. OMG I really don't know if I will last two weeks ( starting next week )

 

 

I was sick and he offered to make me something that you have to use milk with. I use milk sometimes despite Milk products make me feel sick sometimes so at first I said ok( we don't have much food right now cuz he is uses a lot of drugs and doesn't eat much and I just eat little so am not a bother . I thought about it for a few sec. then i changed my mind and went downstairs and told him i changed my mind then he got really angry with me I mean slamming stuff. I told him he didn't have to offer to make me something if he didn't really feel like it. Now he is being mean and I tried so hard to talk to him and try to figure out why even before this happened he has been acting so dismissive towards me. I just gave up and came downstairs.... I am not strong like him numb inside i have a real feeling live heart and its hard to hide..](*,)](*,)]

[SicFounder]

If you mean he uses a lot of drugs, like hard, illegal drugs, then there's a huge factor in his mood swings.

 

I dated a girl last year that used Heroin. Honestly, I didn't care at all (because it would get her really horny and we'd have sex for hours). But sometimes she was a total * * * * * for absolutely no reason. I can clearly remember one time, after she finished shooting up, we started making out, then she immediately pushes me off her and puts her shirt back on and starts yelling "You don't care about me anymore, you're not kissing me like last night." and I asked "What am I doing wrong?" and she quickly replied dismissively, like your bf, "Nothing."

 

I hated it every time she would do it. And, like you, I always wondered what's next? Unfortunately I wasn't moving out until a month later, so I kinda had to put up with it or live on the streets. Eventually,her drug problem consumed her and she drugged me, robbed me, and shipped me away.

 

So, this is a hard situation. I'm not sure what's happening for you in two weeks, but if it's going to get you out of there, then hold tight. Try not to upset him and if you, or anyone, does. Then, leave the situation, by going in another room or something, and let him calm down. don't feed the fire.

 

Also, I highly doubt you're doing anything wrong. So don't blame yourself.

[LonelyAmaris]

Thanks for commenting. We have been through a lot together. ( I DO THINK THE DRUG USE MAKES HIM WORSE I AGREE )I have put up with everything from cheating to verbal emotional abuse and even physical a few times. He is addicted to a medicine that was suppose to get me off drugs plus other drugs he gets. He always runs out before his next appointment to doctor so he starts freaking out sometimes because he thinks he won't get his drugs in enough time before withdrawal. He used drugs for over 30 years. He clams he "really needs the drugs in general and esp a higher dose and more but his doc won't approve it. So I know durning these times he really is going to be a ball of emotions but even when he has a surplus of drugs in his cabinet he just doesn't act right. Maybe its the years of parting and some other issues. He takes three different anti depressants plus pain meds opiates generic forms of herion. When he is really in a fix he uses the actually street drug. When he is high he is mean when he is not he is mean and unpredictable.

 

The only time things are half way good are when he ran out of one of them and knows he is about to find a sure way to get some more and then right after he has taken it does he seem like he has some peace of mind and is happy for just those moments/times. Then the old him is back. And we are on the roller coaster

[LonelyAmaris]

In two weeks starting from next week. I should be able to leave for good for ever....So fingers crossed everything will flow even until then and everything goes as planned. Like you I am stuck at this moment or I could hit the streets but not ready to tackle that so. Wish me luck

[LonelyAmaris]

Sorry i posted this in wrong section don't know how to delete

[doyathink]

ask a mod to move this to the right section

[LonelyAmaris]

How do I do that. Ok I will try to seek out one Thanks

[agent1607307371]

Hi LonelyAmaris, I have moved the thread to relationship conflicts for you.

[DogsAreLove]

If he's cheating and verbally abusing you you really need to leave him. No one can help his drug issue but himself. The grass is greener on the other side!