Cultural Differences-why should the woman wait?

[Luciana]

As I mentioned before, in Brazil (and maybe other countries), the old tradition of a man proposing died decades ago along with the "adultery" law.

 

WHen 2 people decide to get married, they decide together. The man doesn't propose. They both buy wedding bands and wear it in their right hand-this way both the woman and the man look committed, not only the woman as here in the US. Also, the man doesn't have this incredible burden of spending thousands of dollars (and it amazes me how American women won't accept anything but diamond).

 

I think it's a much more modern and fair way of gettting engaged/committed. All this grief we see here about women waiting and seething for a man to propose I never heard in Brazil.

Waiting for a man to propose puts the woman in a weak position.

 

I got a moissanite engagement ring. It is beautiful and 1/10 less than a diamond the same size would cost. I myself didn't want my BF to spend 15 grand in a ring! The size of a rock does NOT mean how much he love you. See JLo and all her failed marriages!

[d346]

I guess it's all part of the tradition, that becomes part of the expectation...logically, a woman doesn't need the ring if the comittment is there, but perhaps if most women get them, a girl can't help but think she deserves one as well. If my boyfriend and I did something romantic -and ran off and got married or something, that would be cool. But if he wanted to do the traditional thing and ask me in advance, I can't help but want a ring. Maybe it's ingrained in me by american society, or perhaps I'm influenced by my friends at work who have sparkley gems on their fingers. . . who knows. I also know my boyfriend could afford it, so I don't feel too bad

 

It's the same as the wedding. Some want the traditional fairy tale wedding. Some want a smaller intimate affair. i have a friend who eloped in Europe. All very romantic. I think I'd want something small, or a trip away with my closest friends -but I understand why some would want the traditional affair. i guess it's up to them...