Looking for advice mostly from women

[Puck13865]

This is kind of a hard situation for me to figure out and thought that an unbiased opinion would be able to see it more clearly. I am interested in a girl, Jen, I have known her since high school but we were only accquantinces then and it has been about 4 years since we have graduated. Now we are taking a class together in college. At first I was amazed at how much better she looked and was surprised that I was even attracted to her. So I asked her to go and study with me after we had been in class for about a week. This has become a routine now for us whenever we have homework from this class. So I invited her to a party that my friends were having and she said that she had plans to go out with her friends that night but offered for me to join them, so I took her phone number and she took mine. I decided to go to my friends party, but end up meeting her later with her friends. After we had met up the one friend and I that I brought with me kinda hung out by the bar and not with her and her group of friends. She kept coming up to see that I was haveing fun and then pushed me out onto the dance floor. She ended up haveing a couple of drinks and became worried that I would think that she was a lush. Then the following Wed. she asked me if I had seen any movies lately. Eventually we started talking about a movie that we both wanted to see. Then she mentioned that she did not have plans on Sat. night. I did not ask her to do anything as we had to get back into class. Then as we got to our cars she mentioned again that she did not have any plans for Sat night. So I asked her to go to the movies and get dinner she replied "That sounds like a lot of fun I will call you as I have to go to my sisters dance comp near magic mtn. then we can figure out the time we can go." So needless to say I was happy. Sat. rolled around and she did not call. I did not talk to her until Mon. then she ended up telling me that her Dad had surprised her with tickets to a baseball game on Fri. and it was in arizona and that she forgot her cell phone which had my phone number. It seemed very believeable. We ended up going to the spot that we go to study at and spent the first hour just talking. She began to ask me my thoughts on marriage. And also told me some stuff she said she normally does not tell people. Such as that she is commitment phobic/ her Dad has been married 5 times and stuff like that. This is where everything gets confusing for me. Since then I have gone to the bars with her and her friends but did not dance with her or anything, and it seemed as if she did not care that I was there then as we left she came out of her way to give me a hug. The next time I saw her I asked for a better way to get in touch with her as I had invited her to another party and she seemed reluctant to give me her house number but then after she gave it she did not seem uneasy. Then she invited me to go dancing with her and one other friend of hers that I have met. But I dont know what to think. I am trying to convey the story as unbaised as can be but I am in the middle of the situation so it makes it harder to see it clearly.

[brandos lovechild]

hiya puck. Firstly,why do you want advice from mainly women? i just need to tell you that, though you may consider a female as the best source of advice when describing another females motives.. for a guy who needs honest,true and unbiased advice,other women are the last ppl you should ask !! When they do give advice, i'll bet you somewhere down the line they feed you with the " tell her how you really feel" rhetoric !! Look what happens to every guy who does that, he get's blown out because there is no more mystery for the girl..she feels like there is nothing to 'win over' in her desired male anymore. Anyway puck, no wonder you are confused bro, this girl gives SOOOO many mixed signals it's unreal !! At the start you were doing everything perfectly, got her no. , you seemed unbothered by her presense in the bar ( thereforeeeeeee she pushed u on dancefloor to get your attention ), and made plans to see a movie after her constant hints...major props to you bro ! But then she didn't call you right and there the trouble begins. I have no reason to believe her excuse isn't valid,so it's probs true bout the baseball game. I'm afraid you may have hit the ' just good friends ' territory with this girl and it ain't good ! when she was telling you those personal things about her life, the hug at the end of a night out, and inviting you out WITH ONE OF HER FRIENDS ( big clue there bro, no romantically interested chick brings a friend along ) she was basically saying " you are now destined to become a friend and no more " . Don't be disheartened , you did everything right, stayed cool, casually asked her if you 2 wanted to hook up etc... but i think she is very insecure and likes very much the idea that you are into her !! From now on bro, the best thing you can do, is refrain from any " friendship " type gatherings with her, no more life stories chats with her, no more hugs !! all of this she sees as signs of friendship..and you want more right ! so be polite and charming etc.. but don't let her stamp 'friend' on your forehead anymore. if at all possible, raise a bit of insecurity in her, make her think you don't think she's as special as you used to. good luck,hope it works out.