How do I change to become more trusting?

[LovelyGuy]

friends introduced my girlfriend and i 7mths ago. She lives 65miles away and we knew little about each other. After three months behind my back my friend caught my girlfriend with a popular local man out for a drink at a lively pub. Despite her being reproached she stayed and the two shared a cab. My girlfriend lied through her teeth about the circumstances that led the two going out together until I walked out and she confessed to arranging it. Recently a friend of hers of 16years split from my girlfriends best friend and when I left to go back to my house, he visited as she felt

guilty about his split. I found out they had some intimate moments but she denies it strongly. I have stooped to checking her emails, sometimes her cellphone bill and looking for more clues to the possibility that she is a cheat. I realise she will hide things she thinks i will be upset about so do I keep snooping or do I wind my neck in and cut her some slack?

 

LG.

[sisterlynch]

I think that you should just break up with her. She isn't treating you with respect, it is normal to be jealous and insecure under those circumstances, but you need to break up with her to begin to get back your self esteem.

[LovelyGuy]

hi sis, thanks for your advice, i have left her several times but one time she literally passed out in the kitchen. My g/friend is 46 and has spent the last 2 years pubbing/clubbing but can't seem to leave the flirting behind her now we've been together close to a year. Other similar cases speak of disrespect. She also drinks an equivalent of a bottle of wine a night whilst I am almost teetotal! maybe it is just simply a poor match.

[sisterlynch]

She needs to think about what she is doing with her life! What got her to this point?

[LovelyGuy]

hi sis, not sure why she drinks so regularly. We have had a beautiful last few mths yet admitted recently how bad she has treated me .. i suspect she is trying to play me like a violin to soften me up when I shape up to leave her? she seems afraid to be alone and go through the dating game again, but then why not be nice to the one guy who would consider a life-long commitment .. it doesn't make sense.

 

I am still young at 38, good job and still in decent shape so its time I went out and found someone more honest ...

[sisterlynch]

It is painful to tell you how common this is. It seems like everyone is always just entering a relationship or just leaving one!

 

No one is steady in their personal lives, or if they are, then they can't get their career going! What is this world coming to?