Reporting on My First 30 Days of NC

[brucethescot]

Hi everyone!

 

I'm the guy who was dumped by my GF (virtual common law marriage) after 15 years together. A complete shocker. We never had a falling out or a harsh word between us in 15 years.

 

My Ex is 44 yrs. The OM is an ex-felon, 5 yrs younger than her. He's an alcoholic and psychotic that can't hold a job.

 

I must report that the last 30 days have been the MOST miserable days of my life. BUT, but, but...I am absolutely convinced that NC is 100% correct and for ALL the reasons I've read from you great folks. They include:

 

1. I can't make her want to come back to me. That's going to be up to her.

2. Anything I would do would be perceived by her as weak and manipulative and only wotk against me.

3. I need time to heal...and reflect. Besides I said everything I could have said in the weeks between the time she dropped the bomb and the time we parted.

4. Absense should make the heart grow fonder. If I think of her everyday (after being together 15 years straight) I can't imagine she doesn't think of me.

5. She told me to NOT call her...unless urgent. Not only must I respect that, she knows it was her who ceased contact. It will be up to her to re-establish it...IF she really wants to.

6. The fact is that she MAY NOT ever contact me. I have accepted that fact intellectually which has helped me emotionally. I simply MAY have to move on without her....as painful as that is and may be.

7. I love her enough to let her find out for herself if she really no longer wants me.

 

I will tell you this too. I pray daily to Almightly God that IF it is His will that we be together, that HE softens her heart and shows us a sign that brings us back together. He has given me a peace to deal with this these last 30 awful days.

 

I have NOT even been tempted to try to contact her. I'd rather think that she is curious about me and let her take the next step...if there's to be one. In an odd way it has given me an inner strength to better cope.

 

It is NOT easy I admit. It is counter-intuitive. But it is the ONLY thing to do. Hey, I am NOT in contol of her. It was her choice. She knows I love her and din't want the split.

 

I hope this helps. You folks have helped me wit your comments and I thank you again.

 

Bye for now.

[Jamiegirl]

congrates it sounds like your going down the right path in terms of getting over her and trying to move on. Keep it up

[skynet74]

You are a very level headed reasonable man Bruce. You have approached this using a combination of common sense and good advice. You have seen what HAS NOT worked for so many others. You are already ahead of the game by not repeating those same mistakes. It's time saved and hopefully it will result in a quicker reconciliation. I feel that you are handling this perfectly. I feel you have definitely weighed the odds in your favor as much as possible. Keep on this same path and I think everything will be allright.

 

take care my friend. Hope to speak with you again soon.

 

 

John

[abcd1234]

Im glad to hear that you know and fully understand the reasoning behind what you are doing Bruce. I think that it is very unfortunate that you have broken up with your girlfriend of 15 years but you are dealing with it in the best way.

 

I must suggest that you do some reading on what to do if she does contact you, im not saying that she will, but you need to be prepared.

 

abcd1234