Back to business: 20, single, virgin

[PAdreamer]

LMAO John! Oy, you guys crack me up!

Hey Teenresearch, there's a great forum that's a spin-off of the original forum that was here. It's under the Attraction and Flirting group and it's called "WHAT DO WOMEN WANT?" It's a pretty cool group of peepes, including almost everyone who is here. Really great opinions and views! Hope to see you there!

[PAdreamer]

You know... I think I need my own support group to keep me from going insane. Although it may be too late for that!

[johnagent1911]

I'm high right now, so forgive my errors. Anyhow this chick and I on went on a date and I thought everything was going great ALL the way to the end. We were holding hands, and being close etc. etc. She told me to call her the next day I called but she seemed pretty distant, she was also pretty busy so she told me to call the day following. I did and it pretty much remained the same, I also said we should get together again some time but she didn't seem that interested. She again, told me to call the next day but everything seemed different but in the bad sort of way. So I didn't call, this was like a month ago. Well she has called like a day ago saying "Hey it's [insert name] call me back. Blah blah" Now she was never a friend or anything, just someone I knew however why would she call, and should I call back? I'm not interested in her as a friend so what should I do?

 

1911

[Shinobie]

Do u guys believe in that whole love at first sight thing cause i sort of feel that way about some girl i first saw back on my sophmore year of high school.Like no matter what whenever i see other girls that are pretty or r nice and i think about talking to them or getting to know them maybe go out sometime with them or something.I always seem to think about that same girl and ive liked for a long time i just never had the gumption to go up to her although im a renewed person and don't have that depression wearing me down so ill go up and talk to her this year.Shes just a girl i can never get out of my mind and i just think she is extremely beautiful althought maybe not to many other people and it feels like shes great a person that i should go out with although i dont know her or anything.She just feels like a person that u can maybe have a true realtionship for a long time with its kind of hard to explain its like a feeling down in my gut.Do u guys believe in that love at first sight stuff or anything because i sure do feel that way i always end up thinking bout her.*As for my picture I might end up putting it up sometime but im kind of emarassed .*

[PAdreamer]

Not that this has anything to do with the topic, but what is the point of getting high? Aside from all the obvious issues, it is highly unattractive (no pun intended), unless you only want to date girls who are druggies themselves. And really, what is that saying about her? *shrug*

Anyway, back on topic. I used to believe in love at first sight, but now I've refined it to interest at first sight. Honestly you can't really love someone that you don't even know. You have to know SOMETHING about them to love them- that is assuming we are using "love" in the way it was MEANT to be used. I don't believe that there is a time line to follow when love is concerned. I think you can know someone for five minutes and fall in love (that's just my opinion, of course). But you still have to know them.

[Shinobie]

K thank you for posting padreamer and ya it does really sound like u have to know somethign about someone to truly love them.Maybe this year when i do get to go to school i can talk with her and really get to know her and see if my intuition is really what it thinks it is.Ya why do u have to be high john like she was talkign about man?It gives u a bad appearance to other people and man i dont want u to do something like that because u seem like a great person

[johnagent1911]

Thanks for the help guys.

[PAdreamer]

Awww John, sorry buddy... Let me see if I can help out a little. I think that you ought to call this girl back and see what she wants. If she says that she is interested in you, I'd say go for it if you want to, but be careful. You need to be sure that she actually likes you and isn't using you. Don't be overly suspicious, but keep your eyes open for warning signs. and if she says she just wants to hang out, maybe it's a good starting place. Get to know her a little better and see where it takes you.

[johnagent1911]

Yeah I could do that... Thanks PA. Now I'm nervous about calling her. I have too many problems. Maybe I should smoke some pot first? =)

 

"Why do I smoke pot?" By: JohnAgent

 

I'm a college student, I have many issues and to hold myself together I smoke pot. (I smoke to keep my mind off things.) I also drink while smoking, it usually goes hand and hand. Every time I do smoke/drink it's always with friends, and once I get home I go to sleep.

 

The end.

[Shinobie]

Ya like when i read this stuff on other posts like to tell if a girl is interested in you to maybe talk and stuff.Like they said a girl is interested to talk sometime if she looks at you for like 2-4 seconds then looks away and then she looks back again for a couple of seconds then looks away or is that just her seeing if your looking at her or is she usually interested?Cause that girl from work has done that but i am not all that sure what all the clues about body language is.

[PAdreamer]

First of all, I don't want to go on an anti-drug crusade here, but doing that stuff shuts you off to a lot of possibilities with girls. If you want to get a great girl who has amazing qualities all the way around, it will be harder to find one who will accept those types of habits. Just a warning.

 

Second, if you really feel that you have so many problems, then don't call her back. In fact, I would highly suggest that you focus on YOU and dealing with the issues already at hand. Perhaps you could try to find a more productive way to deal with your problems- something a little more proactive. And then, when you can handle life without the aid of a false high, maybe you'll be set for the dating world.

 

Mind you, these are just some suggestions. It's your life, but I hope you're willing to try to improve it a little. If you do decide to call this girl back, I hope things go well.

[Shinobie]

Wow my pills havent been helping me as much as i thought they would tonight.I could feel my depression setting in a little bit again but then i controlled it.I feel as thought i should not care about women anymore i should just give up and not care anymore i mean im close to 18.What i wanna do is join the army get into the action and think in my mind if i die then i was not meant to marry a women and if i live maybe i was just a way to put it into gods hands(dont mind my talking its just the sid eof depression filling in).Well tonight i found out i think(not sure)that that girl had a boyfriend but the thing that made me feel bad is if she didnt she was checking out my friend richard all the time.She was very attracted to him is what somebody was saying she couldnt keep her eyes off of him although I talked with her and showed that imma nice guy.Just another girl out of so MANY that always go for him they never ever like me.Too me its starting to seem like that theres nothing good fo girls in my life but only to dissappoint and depress me.No offense to any fo u nice girls that have a true nice heart but girls r no good at all in my life and i need to put them away.Some doctor or soemthign needs to make a "forgot about women pill" that would be nice!For all of u people who really dont understand it to well and how it can actually feel so bad imma describe depression in my next reply.It can get so bad that u actually feel like killing urself which i actually did a few weeks ago by popping pills depression can be very painful.

[Shinobie]

*How depression feels and how bad it can actually be for people who dont undertand it*

Im just gonna talk about a story that involves depression.Well a couple of months ago me and my friends went out with my friend john on his birthday and 2 girls which one was johns gf.That night the other girl never really seemed attracted to me or anything and she put most of her attention at my friend richard.I came home that night feeling pretty down but not way to down.Well my friends set me up to go out with her again saying that she prolly didnt like my friend richard and she said he was short or something so i felt ok and went out with her,my friend john and his gf.We were gonna meet up with my friend richard and his friends at the 12 o clock showing of spider man.Well everything was going ok till i started to run out of ways to try to start conversation so she was prolly not having that swell of a time although my friend john like hardly talks at all.Well we got to the spider man 2 showing and she sat away by the other guys laughing and having a great time while i felt alone and stupid just wanting to go home.We got their early at about 10 2 hours before spider man 2.

So i walked around the theatres parking lot since it wa so huge.Just thinking to myself maybe i was never ever suppose to have a gf or someone to love.Maybe god just wants other people to have those types of relationships and mayeb im just soem peon who was sent here to fight for my country and die for no exciting life at all.IN depression u feel so hopeless i felt nothing at all but pain.Its true pain and it doesnt feel good at all it feels like theres nothing inside and something is yanking at you it does not feel good.So I did that for 2 hours feeling bad about myself and feeling just really really pathetic, i just couldnt help it depression makes u feel so extremely hopeless.I went into watch the movie and i sat away from the bunch in the front row.I got home and i jsut laid on my bed for 15 minutes feeling like one of the most pathetic things on this planet.Depression affects u badly and dont think its something people like us can cope with without drugs because i need these.Its true pain that hurts u on the inside its a horrible feeling that has ate me away on the inside for the last 7 years.It brought me to trying to commit suicide a couple of weeks ago it sux.

[PAdreamer]

You know, this is a big mistake that a lot of people seem to make- but it seems that guys do it more than girls sometimes. You see someone doing something (let's take the example of this girl "not being able to keep her eyes off of your friend"), and you ASSUME that she is attracted to him and she lied about having a boyfriend because she was actually checking out Richard the whole time. You didn't ask her if that's what she was doing, right? I mean, no one would just come right out and ask that question unless they were a complete jerk or incredibly bold. So, you have NO IDEA what was going on in her mind. I'm sure that people often watch me around other people and would accuse me of not being able to take my eyes off of someone. The truth is I am great at maintaining eye contact. I think it's respectful to look at a person when they are talking, or when a conversation surrounds them. So if Richard is one of your friends who is always the center of attention- always the one making conversation and such- then it would make sense that she would be looking at HIM. When you talk to her, her focus will be on YOU. Get where I'm going with this?

I'm glad that you talked to her for a bit. And even though she has a boyfriend, it never hurts to make a friend. This also opens the door to future possiblities. Nothing is final until you are dead. Keep that in mind. Speaking of being dead, I'm worried about you Shinobie. I know you're on meds, but are you in counseling? Medication is just an aid to help you feel a little better. But all forms of depression are triggered and sustained by something going on in your life. That means that you need to get counseling and figure out what exactly is causing you feel so bad. Also, you haven't been on the medication very long. As a rule it takes about three weeks for it to have a full effect on you, so things will be very up and down for a bit. Just stick with it and think happy thoughts, okay? I'm here if you need anything! Take care of yourself!

[Shinobie]

Ya thanks but how i found out she had boyfriend i think is cause there was a guy waiting out there in a car then when she left he was gone so ya .Buit it might of been a rare coincidence u never know but o well she seems like she can be a really great friend.But ya i talked with her we both smiled a bit and she needed some help in some things and asked her how everything has been going.Ya i think girls r a thing that has been a problem with my depression because i started becoming depressed when i started going into the start of puberty in life.When girls started affecting my life and what not and how they have put me down in the past and how they have always made me feel bad.How everytime i like a girl she always ends up liking that same guy and never likes me.Maybe my friend just has way better looks or something.They might think he is a great guy but he is a really compulsive lier and has money management problems.PLus hes one of those guys thats likes to think with his small head sometimes.My mind just cant stop thinking bout girls it is just that stupid instinct that bothers me and it does nothing but make me depressed.Girls r a waste of time for me cause all they really do for me is make me disappointed and depressed liek i said.

[Shinobie]

Imma put that post about depression the health,mind,body forum because some people dont understand depresisont hey dont think its bad.Like people tell me how can depression effect me but i try to tell them it can its just that stupid transfer of seratonin that is unbalanced and crappy doest let my mind think happily.

[johnagent1911]

Shinobie how did you break it to your parents that you had depression?

[PAdreamer]

John, what do you mean by "break it to your parents"? I mean, it's not incurable. You don't "break" things like this to family. You "inform" them of it. You "break" cancer or pregnancy to the family. But not this. In fact, in the best scenario, parents should be involved in the decision to seek treatment as far as minors or even young adults are concerned. I think if a parent doesn't see the VERY obvious warning signs in their child then THEY might need some professional help.

[johnagent1911]

Well I don't know if I have depression or not; I fool around with the thought some times. And for me I have to be damn near perfect for my parents to accept me, so this would be breaking it to them that I have depression. My parents don't play a very active role in my life so thereforeeee it would be hard for them to tell.

 

.

[Outlaw2747]

Hey guys I am totally sorry I have not been responding to this post but for some odd reason I haven't been getting any e-mail notifications of this post. I really didn't have the time to sit here and read all the stuff I missed, just around where I last posted. The one thing I must point out is I find it very odd that PADreamer DOES NOT find me ugly.....it figures, only older women and girls who are taken or on the internet think I am cute. I swear fate is acting against me.....so what are we talking about today? Who's having problems?

 

By the way Teenresearch, welcome to the gang. Yes the spin-off of the original forum that was here was created by myself called WHAT DO WOMEN WANT. And yes pretty much all of us are there.

 

P.S. I went with a girl that got high but she wasn't addicted to the stuff thank God.....

[Shinobie]

How my parents found out i had depression is that i popped 25 pills a couple of weeks ago trying to kill myself but then i became afraid and went to the hospital and they took a bloodtest after treating me.The doctor said he thinks that i suffer from depression and he put me on this stuff called lexoprin.Ya depression sux i just think of the negative kind of like i think there never has been one girl that has flirted with me ever since i started liking girls.I think of things like that out of no where and it make sme more depressed its lame.

[Shinobie]

Well actually i can tell a couple times of girls flirting with me but barely any and actually that girl at work flirted a couple of times today of course in a friendly way.Im really bad at flirting and dont know how to respond when a girl flirts with me in any way.How do girls like guys to flirt with them like i dont really know how to well never really gained any girl skills in my lifetime but o well thats why i come to u guys to aks questions

[PAdreamer]

I think I ought to provide personal tutoring in the art of dating! LOL! I think it would be a lot of fun just taking each of you out one by one and watching how you guys interact with girls. Aside from the fact that it would be highly entertaining , I would also get to do what I love- help people I care about- and I'd make a financial killing! Hahaha!

The real problem here is that it is hard to give advice on a circumstance that you can't observe first hand. If I could watch how you guys are in your day to day routines, and if I could watch what happens when you interact with other people, I could give you VERY sound advice. It's much more difficult from here.

[Bitterness Inc.]

Outlaw2747: I'm no authority when it comes to discussing another guy's looks, but to me you look average. Not stunning, not fugly, average (which isn't such a bad thing). If girls are telling you online you're cute they may be pushing the line a bit, being polite and everything, but I'm sure if you were a beast you'd know it by now. Guess when you're "average-looking" for a girl to truly deem you attractive/hot/whatever it all boils down to attitude.

 

 

Shinobie:

 

1) Paragraphs are good. Heck if you don't know how to use'em just insert a blank space here and there in your posts, I swear they'll be less of an eyesore to read.

 

2) Don't blame your lack of luck on some cosmic joke (God, Satan, Vishnu or whatever you wish to call him).

 

3) Don't expect every girl you show a modest amount of interest in to just fall into your arms. If you don't get the positive reply your were expecting from her, just deem her as another, uhh, "experiment". That's right, you're testing your skills on them. How many failed experiments must nobel prizes suffer before they win the jackpot, hmm ?

 

4) I can't offer you an objective opinion (oxymoron much ?) about your looks, but I'd advise you to start losing your focus on girls and work on yourself a bit. It could be anything about you, just do it. Clothing style, hair style, hit the gym, read books to improve your smarts, get a tan... Anything, just do it.

 

5) Get new friends, seriously. If their attitude put you down each time you see they're "bagging more hooch" than you are, look for people who aren't such show-offs. I'm not telling you to make a 180° turn in your relationships, just to meet new people.

 

By the way, before you think "he's never been through what I'm going", I have. I've been diagnosed with "clinical depression" since age 12 and have been on medication for 4 years already although I'm slowly trying to get off the stuff. Unfortunately, it's all a matter of willpower. You either decide to do something about it, or you don't and keep on sobbing in your corner.

 

-Disclaimer: Some lines are meant to be sarcastic. Please don't make me edit my post and post a hundred smilies to make you understand I didn't want to come off as offensive. I hate smilies, really I do.

 

8) 8)

[johnagent1911]

I'm awesome. The end.