stress release

[EmptySoul]

Hey all. unfortunately for me, my writing (poetry, i mean) skills have evaded me lately, so I guess this will have to do for a stress release...

 

My 15th birthday is coming up next month. It amazes the hell out of me how different it's going to be. This year there's no friends, no boyfriend. I'm not saying I wish it was different...my life has just changed so much, so much has happened, and I guess it's really going to show.

 

I still plan on committing in the future, sometime around my 25th birthday. Maybe I'll change my mind by then, who knows? (that's why i have a date far off so there's time for things to happen) With there being really nothing good for me to focus on in my present life I think about the past and the future probably more than is healthy. (who cares.) Anyway, I'm really set on doing that, but leaving by myself scares the sh__ out of me. Guess I'll have to get over it.

 

My mom is looking for me a new counselor. I only went to my other one twice, but I'm definitly not doing any better, maybe worse, so I've agreed to go some more. We're looking for a new one bc my other one believes that I cut to be part of a trend. (*falls over laughing*) I am the only person anywhere around here (that I know of) who cuts. People don't take it seriously, they joke about it, or they make you feel stupid or they freak out. No matter who it is or what reaction they have, there's no way it's ever anything positive. Shows how much that bit__ knows. IMO counselors need to be people who had problems when they were younger, so they'll actually know what you are talking about, instead of just guessing from what they've read in text books and statistics. Nobody fu_____ wants to do that though, do they??

 

That's all for now.

 

EmptySoul

[under_the_pressure]

Hey...alot has changed it one year. I know. I don't really know what to say or anything clever to post but I want to be 'friends' with you, I care for you...and I wish you could see that.

 

p.s. -i dyed all my hair bright flourescent pink!

 

under

[wlfpack81]

I still plan on committing in the future, sometime around my 25th birthday. Maybe I'll change my mind by then, who knows? (that's why i have a date far off so there's time for things to happen) With there being really nothing good for me to focus on in my present life I think about the past and the future probably more than is healthy. (who cares.) Anyway, I'm really set on doing that, but leaving by myself scares the sh__ out of me. Guess I'll have to get over it.

 

EmptySoul

 

Hey it seems me and you haveing something in coming. In HS I told myself my 35th bday would be my suicide date if I'm still single but now it's moved up to 25yrs old as well ( 23 currently and still never had a g/f, date, sexual relations, romantic phone call etc.). I will suggest doing something quick b/c time does fly. I mean in HS it seemed 23yrs old was a long way off and I figured I'd change by then but here I am 23 and a freaking pathetic excuse for a man. I may have a decent job (for a recent Dec 2003 college grad) but it can't replace the pain of being alone. I'd like to get married and have a family some day but I know it's not going to happen. So when that 25th bday comes in May we'll see if I have the courage to not be a punk and go through with it.

[Scout]

Hey, I have a question - you said your counselor says this cutting thing is a trend. Well, I think that was an insensitive remark for he/she to make, and think it's a good idea to seek another counselor. And kudos to you for seeking another one instead of chalking up all counselors as bad, just because this one was a dud.

 

Sorry to ramble, here is my question...it does seem like cutting is a somewhat new thing, becoming more prevalent these days among teens. Maybe I'm wrong and this has always been around? In my day, it was anorexia and bulimia that teens were succombing to...which I think is still going on strong, too.

[EmptySoul]

i think, that cutting has came more into the media in the recent past. it's relativly new in the spotlight. how long it's actually been going on, i don't know...

 

EmptySoul