The danger of unrequited love towards a best friend

[spaceandtime]

HELP.

 

So basically I fell in love with my best friend. She adored my company and we ended up sleeping together for 10 months.

 

I always wanted a relationship. But she was unsure. Instead she just kept insisting we were 'best friends'.

 

After lots of general brinkmanship, testing the waters and a really great time together - she suddenly realised there were other priorities in her life and wanted to see 'what was out there'. She said she didn't know how she felt about me, she had issues with my relationship history, she'd never been with other people and she basically wasn't ruling out the possiblility of a relationship in the future. But for now, not happening.

 

She wanted to keep contact I said no way. HURT. HURT. HURT.

 

I was pissed. Here I was in a limbo - in love with my best friend, while my best friend was in love with the 'friendship'.

 

Aaagh. 8 months of No Contact follow. In this time, I feel as though there are things I had done which meant she walked away with an unfounded opinion of me. I prey. I dig deep. I lose all sight of myself and eventually begin to re-emerge the other side.

 

Now, I keep getting E's from her about how lonely she is without this friendship and how its the most important thing in her life. PLEASE someone save me from this complete shambles and tell me what to do.

 

Do I the friendship again? ABSOLUTELY NOT. It's just a recipe to unearth the past and more pain as far as I'm concerned.

 

Do I want to be with her? Well, no. I just can't trust her not to hurt me again like this. And I've found new meaning and self-worth in my life now.

 

Do I miss her? Actually, no. I don't. I miss what we had - but feel it was a very different stage in my life and now there are other things for me to sort out in view to moving forward.

 

Oh my good-golly-gosh, have I just answered all my own questions?

[itcouldbe2001]

Yes you have. Smart man.

[JinG]

You said you dont want to be hurt that badly again. -1

You miss all the good times you had with her, but you dont miss HER. -1

You dont want another relationship with her. -1

 

Oh my good-golly-gosh i think we know what to do.

 

You do what your heart wants to.