Cold boyfriend?

[swifts_2002]

My boyfriend lives ages away from me, but its all fine. We talked to eachother every night for about 3 hours and always keeping in contact.

Recently, i told him that, to help a friend out i would be going on a "double date" suddenly the conversation froze over. I didnt go with my friend cos i said it upset him, that evening i got a message from my boyfriend who i think completely misunderstands which said it was ok for me to see otehr people.

 

This was well over two weeks ago.

I had to go on camp but i tried to ring him every so often to explain and to make sure he wasnt angry with me. He said he was fine and all, but he blatently wasnt and continued in his sulking. I then rang him and said, fine your upset about it, it didnt happen, you misunderstood, sulking isnt dealing with anything we should talk this through and how hanging up on me when i spoke to him wasn't happening.

Then he asked me not to ring him anymore at all

So i havent, I've emailed him a couple of times with no reply so i gave him space for about a week. This is the third week and still no notice from him. Hes online, but dosent talk to me, Ive spoken to him onceon there and he was very civil.

I've spoken to his friend and she seems to think that he thinks i dont like him so i emailed him saying i still loved him and an argument isnt going to change that.

Early the next morning he was online, (he is never normally online, and im normally bugging him to be online so to be online all the time at the times Im normally on is a bit weird)But didnt talk to me, i couldnt talk to him because my computer died and i had to go out, but he hadnt returned my email and still hasnt.

 

I have no idea whats happening his end. It all seems to be really silly over, i think, something very small. And i just want him to forgive me and to start talking to me again. I'm not sure whats happening. What shall i do?

 

Swift.

[Rahll]

It probally is over.

 

It sounds like that the issue isnt that you went out on a double date, and if that is the issue, than it's not the only one.

 

I think that when you told him about the double date, he began thinking. It all of a sudden hit him that there were other people both of you could be going out with. And while it may of hurt him to know that you were going on a date with someone else, it also made him realize that he could do the same thing.

 

If you want the realtionship to last, you should think about agreeing to see other people. Set some basic boundries, like maby no sex. That way you both can get enjoyment from the opposite sex, and then when you too are closer together (or maby when one of you gets a car) you can resume your realtionship.

 

If you have to insist on being completely faithful to each other (no dates, no kissing, no anything) then you have to be the same way. You can't go on a double date with your friend, you can't do anything. This will be hard for both of you, and will likely not work. Especially for a fifteen year old guy.

[Tiny_Drama]

How often do you guys see eachother? I think its really difficult to be in a long distance relationship. At first you might think its easy but after words your just gonna be thinkin "Dam Im to0o young for this" You know what Im sayin. I can sord of say I had that expirience but different. See I was with this guy and he got arrested he was only 17 so they put him in Juvi. I wanted to be with him so when he got locked up and asked me what Iwanted to do (1)Help him through this as his girlfriend and wait for him or (2)Break up and be friends and see what happens. He was goin through very difficult times and we were ALWAYS be-4 he got locked up so I felt like I was the only one who could be there for him besides his grandparents.

 

I decided to stay with him thinkin he was goin to get out after 21 days. But he didnt and I was faithful to him for 9 months writtin letters hlpin my mom with the phone bills from all the collect calls. It was really hard but then I decided to move on a wait till he gets out. We still write to eachother hes already 18 and understands that I have the right to move on. But I still wanna be with him when he gets out I just didnt want to be commited while he was locked up.

 

What Im tryin to say is that you guys should be honest with eachother and find out what botch of you REALLY want. How long have you guys been together? I know ts hard but sometimes its better to let go than to try to hold on to somthin that isnt gonna work.

[lady00]

whatever the situation, you deserve an explanation. what did you say in the email...if you explained the misunderstanding and he still won't talk to you then you need to give him more time to cool off/clear his mind. if he still cares, he'll eventually contact you. don't pressure him with more calls and emails as this will just drive him away. he has probably read your emails and he will respond when he's ready. I agree with the earlier poster, there are probably other problems in your relationship and this argument was probably the last straw. often, one little argument can end it all if the person was already frustrated with the relationship. try and think back to how things were before the argument...wha problems were you experiencing in the relationship. this will give you some clue as to what he's thinking. all i can say is give it time and he'll either come to his senses and contact you or he won't (in which case you'll know it's over).

[swifts_2002]

thanks guys, hes 17 btw,

we've been going out for about a year and a half

and the double date thing wasnt actually me seeing anyone it was to help a friend out cos she wanted to go on a date and didnt want to be by herself....

but anyway, thanks for replying and thanks for the advice ^^

 

Swift

 

hopefully we'll patch it up

[Rahll]

it doesnt matter why you went out on the double date (at least not to the guy), just the fact that you were out on a date with another person, regardless of your intentions.

[sweetpea4670]

I think that a long distance relationship is hard for anyone and especially for people who are so young like us. My boyfriend is going away to college soon, and when the distance is that far, any little thing can make someone very jealous. Something like you going on a double date to help out a friend might not be such a big deal to him if he was with you, but the fact that he's so far away and you have this entire life in a different place that doesn't always involve him can be frustrating. The litttlest thing can get him very jealous and its hard for him to sit there and wonder what exactly you're doing while he's away (even if it's something totally innocent) The fact that someone else gets to see more of you than he does can upset him. I do think that he should've responded to your emails when you attempted to correct the misunderstanding, but I can understand why he's probably feeling very jealous, being a jealous person myself