Lost myself in my marriage

[rachinohio]

So I posted last month about having problems with my marriage and we have began to work on things. Much has improved however since we have started the process of fixing the little things wrong with US, I am finding things that I am not liking about myself. I have realized that I have invested 100% of me into him and our children, there is no ME anymore I am wife and mother.

 

I was in college and had to take time off because we were going through trying to get his 4 year old comfortable living in our home, and she is nearly impossible to have full time and dedicate time to studying. We don't have much money right now so I am wearing my old clothes, old shoes and no make-up. Hubby was laid off and only working side jobs and just found out today that he will be going back to work. (YAYYYYYYY!!!) So I feel like I am unattractive and it's a bad feeling. When we got together most of my friends were still in the parting phase and the one's that weren't were busy with family, so I have lost all contact with them. between the two of us, we have 5 children full-time so there really isn't much time for anything other then children. Which honestly makes me feel extremely dependent

 

I did sign back up for my classes, I felt like I had to put my foot down, I am 26 credit hours from having my degree, NO WAY am I giving that up, even if I have to spend all day everyday at the college so I can study in peace. I WILL FINISH! I am a shy person, so making friends isn't an easy task for me, and I can't ever find any time to get away even if I did make friends, I wouldn't have time to see them.

 

So how do you ladies in LTR with children keep from losing yourself in your SO and or children? I feel so lost in him and my kids that I don't know me anymore. I don't know what I like to do in terms of having fun anymore, everything is child oriented. I really forget what it feels like to be a woman, can someone tell me how to start getting me back while keeping US (the family) happy and healthy.

 

Thanks for reading all of this, i know it's a lot and all over the place, but right now, so are my thoughts, dreams and wishes (whatever those are these days)