lonleywife Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 I am 26 and my husband is 35 he never wants to have sex we have been dealing with this ever since we got married. I have had him go to the Drs and there is nothing physically wrong with him. I am very unhappy about this situation and I feel that its so unfair of him to trap me in a marriage that has no intamcy. But we have 4 kids and I do love him and I know he loves me. Any advice would be good advice Thanks' Link to comment
June4life Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 Aren't there medications to increase a mans sex drive? I'm not sure, I'm just trying to help! Link to comment
seza15 Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 yeah, i would like to know if there is ANY treatment to increase a guys sex drive. my guy is the same way. he's 22,we're engaged and stuck in sex rut (once a month!). so i can't help much (sorry) as i'm in a similar situation without any answers too. if anyone, anyone at all has ANY suggestions, let us know, please! Link to comment
bri Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 Girls, get yourself a book by Laura Doyle "Surrendered Wife" and try to implement her advice. The book does not only relate to sex but generally helps regaining the lost intimacy within a couple. It does magic! Link to comment
Femme Fatelle Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 Hi I am having similar probs, am 38, fiance is a year older, we used to have sex in the beninning of the relationship but it has dwindled to nothing because he 'cant' if you know what i mean! He is due to go Doctors next week. I I agree it is unfair, and after getting some advise on here, I sat down and talked it through with him. It turned out he is unhappy in his career and it is having a knock-onn effect, he was also unhappy about not being able to 'perform' but felt he was letting me down, so didnot raise the subject wuntil I did. The talk really helped and he is tryng. I guess you could always resort to aphrodisuac (sp) foods and tablets, or go the whole hog and try viagra, but I would say only after getting Doctor's advise on the mattter. Good luck! Deb Link to comment
JonnyG Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 It does amaze me that the stereotype is that men wants sex more often than women, yet when it comes to this forum the opposite seems true. For the more mature woman in their 30's I can see the woman becoming more horny than a man as she hits her sexual peek at this time, while a man is at his peek in his early 20's. So i can understand some older woman becoming frustrated that their partner doesnt want it as much as themselves. I am surprised about sez15 though as the guy involved is 22 and should be up for it (no pun intended) more often than her in general. Maybe all u woman need to find out some secret fetish of his to bring that spark back to life Good luck Link to comment
SNOOPY89 Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 I am having the same issue here!!!!! I am 24 and my husband is 30. We use to have an incredible sex life. It went from 2-3 times a night, 5 days a week, to once a month. I am miserable. I am a very sexual person and have tried everything. I am currently pregnant with our second child, sadly i can tell you the exact conception date, because of the lack of sex. i want to increase our sex life to atleast once a week, but have tried everything. if anyone has any suggestions besides talking to my husband, cause i have tried that amillion times. PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
jasminebose Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 What I'm going to say is not going to go down well...accept the situation. Like Bri, I read the surrendered wife, along with another book about rules in realtionships. What I've learned and more importantly found to be true is that you have to let the guy set the sex level in a relationship. If you beg him for it you will not feel happy if he gives in, you want him to chase you, not the other way round. What Laura Doyle advises is to be feminine and 'encourage' without demanding!! It may be that these men have low sex drives, you can not change that (if its his testosterone levels) but you can create a situation where he is more likely to see you as a vixen than a demanding partner. There..I said you wouldn't like it... JZ Link to comment
SNOOPY89 Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 Well, its not that it wasnt taken down properly, it was more of a reality shock. if thats the case, how can i get more feminie then i already am. I always wear makup, have a great clothes, and hair well done. ( not trying to be concided just being honest) so if anyone out there can explain to me what else to do. i am willing to try anything!!! Link to comment
jasminebose Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 No, I don't mean how you look. What I mean is act feminine when it comes to sex. Don't be the persuer (is that how you spell it?!) be the persued. Be a bit coy, not needy. Do you see what I mean? Men (and women for that matter) want what they can not have (or at least someone who plays hard to get). Try it for a while. JZ Link to comment
Serendipity1607307077 Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 I think you might just need to talk with him and see what's going on in his mind, a lot of guys don't like talking about stuff like that, but I think that if you can convince him, you will get a better understanding of the situation.. Link to comment
CalGirl2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 wow lonelywife, it's as if I wrote that post. I too am a 26 year old woman with a 35 year old man who seems to have forgotten that sex existed. I understand where you are coming from. I don't know if I have much advice to give as I am looking for advice myself. But I wanted you to know that you are definitely not alone. I am a very attractive young woman and it's frustrating to know that with him that's just not good enough. To Jasmine, I think your message was definitely valid and probably quite true, not the best approach telling people to accept it.. but nonetheless yes it's primal that men are the pursuers and women are just supposed to look sexy and be wanted. So that is why it is so much harder for women when we are not wanted, it is primitive, we want that. Link to comment
goodtimez Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 to the OP.. does your husband have alot on his plate? a guy is "feels" he has to provide for his family and make his family comfortable? maybe he feels he cant do this as well as he'd like & its stressing him out? Link to comment
sharsachan Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 this thread is over 4 years old... Link to comment
vagrant Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 This happens to women too! I'm 37 , she's 30.. I'm lucky to get it once or twice a month... We originally agreed on twice a week... I WANT it 3 or 4 times a week... Link to comment
thewiseone Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 has he always been this way or is this a new development? Sex is often a symptom, not the problem... so if things have changed recently you might want to ask yourself what's going on... if they have always been this way then it might be his personality. Link to comment
oneshot461 Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 hi you crazy peoples im 39 my wife is 49 and i love sex, i want it like 3 times a day but the truth is i dont get it 3 times a month. we are married now for 15 years and sex is just not there anymore... i have thought about leaving a couple of times, and almost did once or twice. but for one thing. im still very much in love...its a bugga but there ya go. thats whats its all about when you get married. you mean what you say when you say '' I DO '' it means sticking at it no matta what. or a least work at it Link to comment
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