i think i'm jealous of my bf

[im_the_undead]

back then, when we were about 5 months into our relationship.....

i was very relaxed [even though there was a lot of conflict because of his horrid cousins] but anywayi was very relaxed and mellow in the sense that i didn't mind if he was out in the city with his friends or doing who knows what, my trust was over the top. i never really tripped about anything, honestly, other than how badly his cousins treated me.... but other than that i didn't get upset over little stupid things he'd say, or if he didn't consider me and went out at like 3 in the morning while i'm at home.. nothing. i was chill.

then he'd complain to me and say that i had a dry personality, that i had no emotion or care in the world toward him. i DID have a care.. i was just raised amongst a bunch of really strong women who didn't let little sh i* get to them........

but anyway, so i tried really hard to make a transformation, and maybe 8 months into the relationship i'd get a little irritable about things he'd do or say....i was finally taking things personal..

 

and he appreciated some of that..

 

now two years into the relationship, i take everything personal, and now he hates me for it.

 

he goes out with his friends after dropping me off at home...and he stays out until 3 in the morning and doesn't even ask me if i'd like to join, atleast to be nice... and if he answers the phone when he's out he never tells me he's out but i can always tell because he's in a rush to hang up. Then, when i "catch" him, he's like "well yeah i'm out it's not like i denied it !" in my eyes, omission is lying.

 

Then, there are instances where he's with his friends and i don't know it........and i'm arguing with him, and he grows these BALLS out of nowhere and just hangs up on me or says something spiteful then laughs. This is where i realize he's not alone, because when he's with me.. this tough guy is not there. I get a little drama queen.

but then one time i was at the movies watchign inception and i got home at 2.. and maaan i had to hear about that all month from my mom AND from him -.-"

i'm an adult, why am i getting nagged at constantly.

 

so then i don't go out late to watch movies anymore, but this kid still does what he wants when he wants and that's that... so i flip my lid everytime.

it makes me mad and maybe jealous that he still has friends and i dont, thanks to him

 

 

then, there's also other "little [bIG] things" that irritate me x| which he does with no consideration of me, but in his eyes, everything is my fault. well, i feel everything he does that affects me is his fault lol idk it's so retarded

 

he says i can do whatever i want now, but i highly doubt that.

 

i care too much now, about everything he says or does, and i can't take feeling so weak. how do i revert this ordeal and go back to how i used to be???

 

i really need to make the change!

[collegegirl21]

hey! it hard to go back how you used to be.. Am going thru something similar too! My boyfriend just does what he wants when he wants but if i dare do some of the things he does to me, am a bad person.

 

i guess we both need to try to stop caring as much as we do and try to occupy our time with other things.. like me am so focused on school so i try to occupy my time with that! My boyfriend havent even answered my calls or text since yesterday evening and everything was going good before that! it really sucks!

 

just try to occupy ur time and do things for yourself and that should get him to come around!

[im_the_undead]

my time is pretty occupied as well, i spend all my time drowned with homework or an occasional hangout with some good friends. i hardly have time for myself so when i do get time i want to spend it with him and he with me

[iJester]

Time to end it. He clearly likes the drama.