I was Unfaithful to My Husband

[Wagirl99]

[size=18]My husband and I have a 5 month old baby together. We are both 18, and have been married a year. I love him more than anything, and I know he feels the same. I have always been honest with him. But last week, I met a guy for 3 occasions and we had sex(he doesnt know him). Before we were married I cheat on him, and told him and he was extremly upset and depressed. And says he couldnt handle it if it ever happened again. He has forgiven me. I dont like hiding things from him, but Im not sure that I should tell him. I know he would never leave me or anything, and the main reason I havent told him is because I dont want to hurt him. I know it was wrong, and I am not going to do it anymore. So what should I do ???

[Trinity1607306450]

Keep it to yourself, and be true to yourself too.

Don't do it again.

Think how you would feel if the shoe were on the other foot.

[Gilgamesh]

Yeah I agree with Trinity, keep it to your self, and dont do that ever again,.

 

But not doing it again, what makes you think you will be able to stop? are you not getting enough sex from your husband? or do you like the thrill of sneaking behind his back? you really need to find out why you do these things, You said that you met up with this other guy three times, so it wasnt no accident, you knew what you were doing and planned it, then executed it, then you feel guilty afterwards.

 

Once you can find the problem, then the solution becomes that much easier.

 

What you did is very wrong in my book, and if you were my girl and did that to me and I found out, your butt would be out on the street big time.

[Eddie]

Problem is...you're too young to be married, but you have a kid so I applaud you for that.

 

However, nothing excuses this kind of stuff.

 

I know you say in your post that you know it was wrong...but I don't get that feeling from you at all. I don't think you really have empathy for your husband. Like the other person said...can't you put yourself in his shoes?

 

Think about it...

 

What if you were to come on this site on day and see a message from your husband saying that he had slept with some girl but wanted advice on whether he should tell you or not? How would you feel? Use your imagination. Stop thinking about your own guilt and your own anxieties associated with this and your own embarrassment and everything...and try to feel something from his perspective. If you can't do it, then you will end up doing this again.

 

Improve your sex life...but not by giving yourself to random men...give yourself more completely to the man who loves you and only wants your happiness. Do you want him to be happy?

 

Sometimes I think women assume men don't feel at all. But to be honest, I sometimes get the feeling that men feel MORE than women. I know this probably isn't the case, but I have so many stories of women sleeping around on their supposedly serious boyfriends or husbands and hardly any the other way round. Is society changing? I don't know. This is just my experience of course. It's all just down to the animal in us at the end of the day.

 

God if you were my girlfriend I would never have given you a second chance to destroy me. I think you should tell him and take the consequences like a grown up.

[enotaloneuser]

A long lasting relationship needs to have trust. #1. you have broken that trust between you and your husband by cheating. That is an issue you must take care of. I personally would have left you the first time. #2. you need to tell him. He WILL find out some day some how when you are not ready for it. Try to gain back his trust and free yourself from guilt.

 

I commend you and him on getting married and trying to provide your child with a loving family environment. NOW is the time to mature and create that environment.... A ring doesn't just do it.

 

Create more of a satisfying sex life between you and him.... that will keep you from cheating and maybe make him happier.

 

If I were writing to him, I would say dump you and move on ESPECIALLY if he were to find out that you cheated other than you personally telling him.

[cayla]

I have cheated on my husbon many of times and What he dose not know wont hurt him. Just keep it between you and God. I never told my Husbon anything that I do, but If you have a husbon like mine you will understand why I wont tell him nothing. I am so happy for you, for getting married at a young age just cause of a kid.

-cayla

[Gilgamesh]

"Let no one be satisfied with simple physical pleasure, cause it doesn't approach fleeting bliss if one's soul still shrieks for it's mate and the love it is due."[/b][/i]

[sisterlynch]

You are treatin him in a very bad way and I think you should stop doing that. Even if you don't tell him, he probably knows in his heart that things aren't right between the two of you. Set up a higher standard for yourself and try to do the right thing. Think about what keeps leading up to the affairs and try to stop the behavior that keeps compromising your judgement, like drinking, lying, thinking bad things about him, etc. Search out your heart and think what is best for your child if not for yourself and your husband!

[Lightingbird]

Did you use protection?

 

How certain are you that you will never do this again?

 

If you didn't use protection you should tell him. He deserves to know at least so that he can get himself checked out.

 

If you are serious about this relationship, don't repeat what you did but also, don't marry him. You don't have loyality to this man and that is something that is heavily required in a healthy marriage.