This is my cry for help.

[johnagent1911]

SO I have no clue on what I'm doing. My ex wanted nothing to really do with me just sex.(Not that's a bad thing but she should of said something.) I feel like utter crap.(Because I thought she wanted something more I ruined the sex deal too.) I don't know what to do. I'm tired of life. I think tonight I'm going to go crazy. Lately nothing has gone good at all! My car is broke, and it broke when I was picking her up! Good timing. I'll tell you right now about my blue prints, I'm going to smoke some weed and drink. The end. Then if I'm still up to it, I'm jumping off the St. John's bridge-- if any cares to join in on the fun contact me! Looking for followers! I don't care for much in this life. No one close in my life. Girls are worthless. Job blows. College is slow and I don't know what the hell my major is going to be. BORED out my mind with EVERYTHING. I do what ever I want when I want and I'm still not happy? I GIVE MONEY TO THE HOMELESS/BLIND BECAUSE I DON'T NEED IT. I'M NOT RICH I'M POOR, JUST BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT PEOPLE. (I feel as if I'm buying someone a happy night. I'm not going to be happy with it maybe they will.)

 

I need to be more of a man. Not some little pansy.

 

WHY THE HELL DO I FEEL SO TRAPPED? WHY DO I CARE ABOUT GIRLS? GOD I WISH I WAS BETTER LOOKING!

 

I'm a good person, I am, but for some reason I don't know know what I'm doing in life anymore.

 

Why do you stay here? What keeps you?

[Caldus]

OK, first of all, please don't kill yourself over this! The situation can change. About your college major: many people have a tough time with this. Just keep taking more and more classes and eventually you will find something that you will want to study more. What kind of things do you enjoy doing? Surely there are some majors out there that would fit your interests and desires in life. Have you tried talking to a counselor at your university about your major?

 

Anyway, about that girl. All she wanted was sex so forget about her. There are many other girls that will like you for you. Don't give up that easily. I guess you're trying to get over that girl so it probably isn't doing much good saying all of this to you, but it's true. She's not worth it to you so move on.

 

It's your choice if you want to drink and smoke and all of that, but I don't think it's going to make the situation any better. Remember, the situation can change, but you have to be willing to try and not give up and drink. Why exactly do you feel trapped?

 

Oh, and the car situation will fix itself if you give it some time. Just don't go jumping off that bridge.

[johnnyt]

You care about girls probably because it's natural for you to, something evolutionary, if you will.

 

Why do we stay here? What keeps us?

 

The fact that if things are going badly, they will always get better. Always. Things will work out in the end, they always do. People change the way they look at things, and overcome any barriers in the end. To be honest this could take a relatively long time, perhaps months. But the message I give to you is that no matter how bad you think life is, it's gonna get better!

 

Life is good. Or the old cliché, it's a rollercoaster and if you're at the bottom of a dip, there's no way left to go but up. Just stay on the ride till the end, don't jump off or you'll never know what good bits you'll have missed.

[moviestr]

There are many girls who go through the same agravation posed by men who are only interested in sex. . .so you see, there are girls who you will meet who will be interested in you for you. You're frustrated with life right now, but like someone else wrote, think about what you could be missing.

 

Remember, life has its ups and downs. . .that's what it's all about. You feel down right now, but eventually you will feel "up" again. And besides, do you really want this girl to get the better of you by letting her determine your self worth? Have more respect for yourself! You are worth much more.

[johnagent1911]

Let me just say this is helping. I know that girl shouldn't mean anything and I'm moving on, it just blows because I know she's awesome.(Or so my ideal vision of her.) I know/understand things get better but it's been like this for a while. I guess I'll play it by ear. I don't know what to expect out of tonight.

 

I know who I am and I respect myself however sometimes life gets the best of me, and I just want to give in. I just need some outside of me advice I guess.

 

-1911

[Caldus]

That's OK. We all get crazy sometimes. It's part of being human. Even though you may think the girl was awesome for you, it seems like all she wanted was sex. Is that your vision of an awesome girl? She is not the girl you thought she was and you just need to move on and sort things out. Everyone goes through these kind of stages in their lives. I went through horrible depression throughout high school and now I am out of it. I changed because I tried to change.

[sisterlynch]

I wish that you would call someone in your area and tell them how you are feeling. When you do something like this on a websight, you are anonymous. You cannot function in an anonymous way. You need to find some uncle or someone that will help you to move forward and someone needs to be responsible for you, isn't there a sister or brother or roommate that will help you?

 

I really don't think that pot is the answer to the way that you are feeling. It will most likely intensify the feelings of rejection and make you have a bad trip. so save the weed for when some friends come over, otherwise it will intensify the bad mood that you are feeling.

 

Take some tylenol PM to help you sleep, that is all that you need to do is sleep.

 

Call someone in the morning.

[I_KicKed_keNNedy]

I realize that everyone on the board will raise an eyebrow when they read this post, but only those who have ever been that close to the edge will understand fully what I am about to say.

 

Suicide will take the pain away. Everything will go away, and for once, you won't feel the pin pricks that seem to surround your skull.

 

Then, think to yourself for a moment... do I want to get rid of the pain? I can't remember what love and joy feel like, but sure as heck do remember the pain. I still feel the pain. I still feel the regret. I still feel the madness.

 

Do I really want to get rid of this? Would I rather deal with a few days/months/years of pain, rather than an eternity of feeling nothing? I'm not ready for an eternity of anything or nothing. Do I really want to do this?

 

"That which doesn't kill me only serves to make me stronger." Nietzsche

 

Trust me. After you step away you will find yourself a stronger person than most. Whereas most people fear death, you've stepped to the edge and seen what its like not only not to fear death, but to have embraced it. Death cannot exist without life and vice versa. People "live" their lives fearing death, thus shying from life. Those who have embraced their death are ready to embrace their lives.

 

Once again, this may seem like madness to many, but rest assured it won't to those who've lived with the madness and despair that very few of us are blessed enough to experience. This is by no means advocating going through these sort of episodes, for history shows that many people don't come out of it. Plus, to quote a great man:

 

"People hang themselves upon crosses only with the hope of being seen at a greater distance. To be admired for their suffering."

 

Don't be one of those people.