how to back with my girlfriend

[lupe]

well we were in love and then she started to work at the ymca. we did not see eachother except for saturdays. she stoped calling, tell me she was busy, i could tell something was wrong. i asked her if thier is someone else and she said yes. they have been only talking for a week now. she just broke up with me and she was crying, she said that this might be the biggest mistake of her life. we talked and we told eachother that will still be friends and talk. My question is that i still love her and dont want to let go so i would like some advice on how i can get her back in my arms. please i really care for her time is running out. thankyou to ever helps me.

[brokenpogostick]

all you can really do is be yourself. if she's found someone else it's going to be harder than usual to get her back...did she say why she went looking for someone else?

[EatZ]

Badkitty is right.

 

I know it'll seem like you don't want to give up on her, but as is so commonly seen on these forums, you can't force a person to love you. Especially if there's someone else in the picture.

 

She said that she thinks she could be making the biggest mistake of her life leaving you. Do you think she was being sincere when she said that?

 

If you think she was, then use it to your advantage. Don't beg or plead with her to come back. Gather up all your strength and put on a strong face. Forge on with your life for now. Whether it means doing well in school, taking up a new hobby, exercising, getting fit, going out with friends and having fun...

 

Don't give her the impression that she's allowed to do this and still be able to keep you in her life. She's made a choice, and now she needs to suffer the consequences of that choice... It's not going to be the biggest mistake of her life if she still has you in the picture, is it?

 

Don't let her think she can up and leave and still have you there in the background. The "nice guy" to fall back on. The safety net.

 

I know staying "friends" will seem quite desirable right now, but do you really want to be hanging around someone you love, only to have them like you back as a friend? It'll only hurt, I guarantee you.

 

Like is said in the movie Swingers, "The only difference between giving up and not giving up, is taking her back when she wants to come back. But you can't DO anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do things to make her NOT want to come back...". In other words, don't chase after her. Don't cry and sob and beg and plead her to come back. Don't force her back into a relationship by making her feel guilty for the pain she's causing. The only thing you can do right now is give her space.

 

I know this will be a very trying time for you Lupe. Again, I'm so so sorry. Try to think of it like this... do you really want to be with someone that falls in and out of love with you when someone new comes along? She sounds like she could be quite an indecisive, flighty person. Your heart isn't a toy Lupe. Don't let her (OR yourself) treat it like it is!

 

You'll be fine no matter what happens. Hang in there mate.

 

Keep posting!

[Mix Maxster]

SO it's better to just let the bitch do whatever she pleases hey? If she's a flighty person I guess she always will be and it's your job to just say screw it, who needs her.. I'm glad I'm not indecisive like that and have to find acceptance by jumping to person to person. She obviously knows how you feel and it just shows how much she cares by her leaving you right??? BS bs bs bs bs lol I'm sorry man but people who are usually flighty and need to always find acceptance with someone else usually have a hard time loving themselves or have been hurt and are afraid to be further hurt by the one they thought they love. What the last guy said is a good idea and let her come back on her own, but how foolish is it for a women to just the guy who could potentially be the best for her go because he can just be her friend. God what a waste, you'd rather just be with some other guy and complain about how bad he is for her and how much of a good friend you are... chances are if it comes down to the point where she is great friends with you I'm betting she wouldn't want to ruin it for fear she'll be alone or some thing like that... If she broke up with you then you have a good chance at getting her back. It takes time and effort from your end. You can't jsut do nothing because chances are doing nothing may have been the cause of the break up to begin with. Perhaps this was coming for some time but she didn't have anyone at the time so she just dealt with it, but now that someone new is around she decided to leave. Don't manipulate her or plead or sound desperate, but if you want her man you have to try harder. Don't be a pathetic loser, but be someone she desires and wants to have... whatever crap you may have pulled or done in the relationship has to stop and you have to prove to her you won't pull any of it again. You can think of something, we're given brains for a reason... use it lol.

[lupe]

well i have had many girlfriends and the only reason that i want to keep her is that she has been the best. But when i think back and how she treated me i tell myself that there is someone better out their. She broke up with me right when i got the airplane coming home from californa. i asked her why? and she well im soory but my feelings have changed. i think to my self i love this person and they love me too but they break it off ike this telling me that they are talking to somebody and not even known them for a week. Me i did nothing all i did was make her happy and we had a good time together. bought her every thing she wanted and was so good to her. never argued, talked all the time everyday on the cell phone for 3-6 hours. i lived 18 miles away from her. i did anything for her, one time i woke up 2hrs early to go to school just to she her for 3minutes. Or pick her up from work and take her home when i needed to do something but i made time. just dont under stand what did i do that was so wrong, Or do i deserve this because im too nice. well people i know you dont know but thank you at least i know theres good people out there. write back and if you guys need help if you visit hawaii ill help you.