Transition from breaking up to being their friend

[blackcat21]

I have a question. What is the best way to transition from breaking up with someone to being their friend again? We both said we'd want to remain friends.. We haven't talked in a little over a month now and I am wondering if I should write him a friendly email or wait for him to approach me..

[AngelOfDarknes]

mmm.... well dont know how you can be friends after breakup i tried but hey dosent really work it just makes things worse every time i use to be around my ex it just makes me sick and full of hate..you wanna email your ex goodluck i tried he dosent respond then makes me mad again so gohead good luck try...or just forget it

[Chandler]

I think you have to ask yourself if you two are ready to be friends. Make sure you truly want to be friends and not just want to be near him in hopes that things will start up again. I think that if both sides have completely healed and there are no more feelings, then you two can be friends. Ask yourself, what if he is dating someone, would you still want to be his friend? If your answer is yes, then yes, I think you can contact him, but he must be ready too.

 

I think a nice email or even phone call is fine. Just be prepared that he may not be ready to talk just yet.

 

That's my take anyways. Good luck.

[Scott M.]

well then, shes not talking because she doesnt know what to say, so you talk to her.

[Emotional]

if yall havnt talked and he hasnt called u ide forget about it all together...a lot of guys just say that so they dont hurt ur feelings...but if u want call him up n see how hes doin n if he wants to go out with u somewhere sometime..if he buggs off.then u know theres tonsmore fish in the sea

[edgecrusher96]

I'm actually wondering what the answer is to your question, as I also want to be friends with my ex.

 

When we first broke up 2 months ago (ended by me) we both said we could remain friends, but about 3 weeks ago I received an email from my ex telling me not to contact him anymore. I haven't contacted him since then, but I'm willing to give the friend thing another try. He obviously doesn't want to have anything to do with me right now, but only time will tell if this is just a phase he's going through, or he said that he wants to remain friends during the breakup just to make things easier for both of us, without any intention to stay friends.

 

But I suppose how successfully you can make the relationship to friendship transition, and how long it takes assuming that it eventually happens, depends on a lot of things:

 

Were you the dumper or the dumpee?

How long were you in a relationship together?

Why did said relationship end?

Were you friends before the relationship?

 

I've been advised that the dumper should leave the dumpee alone, and if the dumpee wants to be friends, then they'll get in touch when they're ready. But the dumpee probably wouldn't know what to say, also wouldn't it be somewhat humiliating to approach the person who gave you the flick and say that you want to be friends with them? thereforeeee, perhaps the dumper is the one who should hand out the olive branch after enough time has passed? I don't know...

 

If I were you I'd start off by writing a friendly email saying hi, with no personal questions and definitely don't mention any new relationships you might be in at the moment (this will be interpreted as a deliberate attempt to hurt the person or make them jealous). Start off with emails as it's more emotionally neutral than calling, which should make it easier, then see how things go. A month of no contact may or may not be enough time off to start communicating again, depending on how long the relationship was.

 

That's just an idea which I haven't tested myself yet. Since I'm trying to do the same thing as you are, if you would like to discuss anything, feel free to PM me.

[Chandler]

In addition to the questions listed by edgecrusher, I think it also depends on the guy. For some reason, it seems the girl always wants to be friends afterwards, but for some guys, they would never be friends with their ex (I used to have that attitude).

 

I think after I am completely over my ex, I can and will be friends with her. For over a year, she was my best friend, so just because we didn't have the same goals doesn't mean we can be friends. I guess this answers "Why did said relationship end?"