Days like these. Advice maybe

[Neo7]

A year and a half after the fact and I still have days like these. Days where she's in your thoughts and you can't get her out. I swear, if I had a dollar for all the days like these. You go through the constant reminising of the good times, then the things you wish you would of done differently. Then you start realizing how foolish you were at 20 enjoying college, partying, not understanding your actions at the time(and no I never cheated). Now on to realizing how much of a man you've become, now at 22 on the doorstep of graduation. Only if she could see how far I've come! Days like this, bad days, makes you want to go to bed, get up and start a new day in the morning.

 

You start digging deeper and analyzing more. Why does she still call me when she's sad? Why does she still tell me she thinks about me?

 

I really think finding the "one" so to speak and holding on to her, is all about timing. Between the ages 18-22 or so maybe even 18-25 it's such a dynamic period in one's life. You're constantly changing its difficult to stay with one person that entire time becasue you both are changing.

 

Thats where the problems arise. I know the love was there most defintely.Thats what made it so hard for both of us. People would come up and tell me or her how obvious it was we loved each other so much and had a great relationship. Part of me still thinks the love is there. But due to stubborness, and not wanting to be wrong, it's tough. Some girls when they make up there mind they don't want go back, hard headed maybe, if you will, and the door remains closed to a new beginning. It's not fair. What if we would of gotten together now. What if I would of realized and understood then what I understand now. Would it make a difference?

 

I'll go to bed and I'll have a dream about her, at least twice a week. Other girls will do the trick for me for sometime. But they'll end up being so much like her and falling short in so many areas it ends up being some imitation of her, when all I really want is the real thing. The funny thing is, according to her friends the guy she's seeing now is a spitting image of me looks, personality, demanor etc. Well there's only one me, the first time around is always the best, and I'm irreplacable!

 

Maybe there will be a happy ending, who knows. Thanks for listening,Until another day my friends...

 

NEO

[TearsofaDragon20]

well neo i have some of those types of thoughts that make you stop and drop everything you are doing and lose train of thought. i hate it becausemy ex and i were into a 15 and a half month relationship and she was 16. at that age what can you do? you're still a teen why be tied down? well i wish i could of just stayed away from her so i wouldnt of gotten involved with her. then she would of just went about and got in a relationship with someone her age and i could of found some one my age. but those are "if only" thoughts that you cant do nothng about now. she was a lovely woman and when i was with her it was like i was 16 and still a teen. i didnt see my age, i saw it as i was back in the past as a teen. but i only saw a part of what i had been though as a child. and being a teen now a days is hard on some. age gap relationships are risky, and i know that a bit better now. things that i have seen in my 20 years of life just prepares me for better things in the future. neo there are girls out there that are worth going on a quest for. and i know that when i find that girl i will be a man who could die happy. they are out there in the world and it's our job as those special guys to find the one and only. take care. and dont sit there and kick yourself for it. make the future for yourself where you can smile and be "im going for it". later neo.

[cookies]

Hey Neo!

 

I always feel like going to sleep, waking up to tackle another day abit differently...change my agenda, way of thinking etc...sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt...

 

You are totally correct, its all about timing. We fall in love with someone thats a potential partner for life, but because we are still learning, gaining knowledge and going thru breakups, pain and life´s mishaps,...all to prepare us for something far more special in our futures. At the moment, we never seem to think we can find someone better, but in the right timing, it does happen.

 

As far as comparing, like G said he is doing now...thats hard to say when and if you will stop, because i do that somethimes, but its an unfair disadvantage we hold against ourselves by doing so... When we lose love, we hafta learn to a ccept it and move on to recovery from pain.

 

Its not always because a woman may be "hard headed" and wont come back, she may feel that she knew what she walked away from, that wasnt making her happy or feel complete, and feel that if she went back, the situation will be the same. Altho some ppl do change after learning from their mistakes, there are some ppl that chose to live the same cycles in their lives, and never grow to LEARN and apprecate love as it shoud be.

 

Yes, you are irreplacable, i totally agree, but she feels the same im sure...as we all are. IN relationships we all have certain qualities and expectations that we would like to be met, as well meet our loved one´s critereias,...and if the other choses to move forward, it may be that we just dont meet their criterias...

 

its good 2 see u post again..hope to see u on the board...

 

 

 

cookies

[mhonkieys]

the best advice i could give you man, be bluntly honest, share the bad days with her and tell her what she means in bold and unhidden words.

if after that she does not want to try, then it is time for you to move on and accept that chapter of your life as a beautiful and painful memory that you will never forget, we all grow and we all make foolish mistakes, it is those things and the ability to learn from them that make us human.