Help need some advice about a girl

[Puck13865]

I need some advice as to find out how to help a girl i am talking to that is commitment phobic. I would assume that most of her phobia comes from her dad being married 5 times. She says that she is also worried about losing her single life. Any ideas of how to handle this would be great as she is a great girl and we both really enjoy each others company.

[simulacra]

If you really like this girl (like feeling like you would do almost anything for her), then you should let her set the pace of things. Let her know that you are open to anything and that she is special to you and that you understand her fear. Let her know that you would like to commit yourself to her in an exclusive relationship (I'm assuming that's what you want) and that you will let her decide how serious she wants to go and to go slowly. It may just be hanging out as friends or in the company of others at the beginning. Then when she's ready, let her tell you when she's comfortable with going out on dates with you, as a couple but not commited boyfriend-girlfriend yet. And when she's comfortable with that, then she can tell you when she wants it to be a real relationship. At the same time however, if you make it clear to her that you are commited to her, then you should honour your word -- that is, not see other girls even though the two of you are not exclusive yet. I think that will show a lot to her about your seriousness in wanting to pursue something with her. Also make sure you communicate to her your feelings as you get to know her and tell her to be honest with you about her feelings as time passes and just take things gradually.

 

Good luck

[Neo7]

Only advice I can give is you have to make it clear how committed you are to her. Words won't do, you have to show her. I dont' know how, I dont' know your relationship. If you can prove that to her, you may get her committment.

[FerrisGoat5]

I need some advice as to find out how to help a girl i am talking to that is commitment phobic. I would assume that most of her phobia comes from her dad being married 5 times. She says that she is also worried about losing her single life. Any ideas of how to handle this would be great as she is a great girl and we both really enjoy each others company.