Poison ivy

[hankmb]

This may be a little long, so I apologize in advance.

 

So I posted about a week ago about receiving a strange call from what I thought was my ex. Still do.

 

Well after returning to town from a family members funeral. I got an email from my ex. I know for a fact she didn't know of it. It was small, just article about an artist we both like. Mind you, I haven't really had any contact with her since about January. Although she hit me up in June telling me she really considers me important in her life, and really hopes we could be friends. To which I replied, I don't think I could do that.

 

 

Well because I was a little upset and alone at the time. I responded. We had an email chain going on for like an hour just talking about different artists. Then it ended, and easily as it started.

 

Now today I mentioned it to a friend, thinking this was weird. She let me know her fb status was listed as "in a relationship" a few months back and hasn't changed.

 

Seriously * * * !? Why call? Why email? Why now? Can't she just let it go? I mean do I have to tell her? I believe she is not the type to talk to ex's when involved.

 

Honestly this is just driving me crazy. I have to come hear, because its been over a year and my friends don't want to hear about it.

 

Sorry again, this may just be a repeat of my last post. But it sucks and I had to get it out there.

 

ugh

[DeepestBlue]

My advice is stick to the NC. You've made it clear you aren't willing to be friends, and she's with someone else right now.

 

If she wants to be with you again, she'll make her intentions clear (or you can ask her to do so). Don't let her toy with you. Don't respond to anything she sends you.

 

It's most likely that your ex will miss you after breaking up with you- but if she's with someone else, then she's moved on. And you need to make an effort to do so as well. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to date someone else (until you're ready), but you should carry forward with your life as though she may never be with you again- because reality is she might not. Don't give into urges to have communication with her- she's the one that's dating someone else.

 

Don't let her play head-games with you. Don't give her a response, or if you feel you have to respond just say "Thanks for the article, but please respect my wishes to remain No Contact unless you're considering trying again at a relationship with me." something cordial and firm like that.

 

All of this is written with the assumption that she's the one that broke up with you, of course. (I'm assuming that she broke up with you and then wanted to be friends, to which you've said no?)

[hankmb]

Thanks for your response.

 

I've pretty much been NC. As for her missing me, it's been over a year, she really should be past that. I also went NIC in about September, after telling her not to contact me. Well that lasted a month. Then she would reach out and I would respond. Vicious cycle... Finally in January I just stopped.

 

Until lately. I started to think why let her believe I can't talk to her. I know she would like to feel that power. The power that "look he still cares, he can't even reply to me".

 

At times I think I'm just being petty not responding. So I do, and it's kind of a no win.

 

I did do everything I thought to get over this. Quit my job, moved to a new city, traveled for a month changed my phone number. I mean I've thought about therapy, but can't afford it.

 

To make matters worse, I did try dating a couple months back. Went out on a few dates with this woman, and realized I wasn't ready. I ended it. Told her I couldn't do this. That was 5 months ago. I get at least 6 emails/text messages/phone calls a day from her. Still. When ended it, I answered every question she had. Then I said it was over. I've since responded once just asking her to stop. That set of a day full of attempts to contact me.

 

Honestly I just wish everyone would forget my phone number, email and maybe even me.

 

And yes she left me.

 

NOTE: I meant to post this in the healing section. Or maybe my subconscious led me here.