i think my relationship has made me a b****

[im_the_undead]

i've been in this relationship for about..two years or so. i LOVE the kid..hate being away from him but i hate being with him too! why? because it's pretty much always a war.

apparently it gets worse by the day.. haven't started a day or ended a night well in ohhh SO long, dk what to do from here. i know we're eventually going to HAVE TO split permanently whether i like it or not [& not jst for a few weeks like has happened], but i'm afraid i'll remain a b**** if i move on & ever choose to date again. i don't always want to be so ICK with men [like my mom D: apparently she went through this too]

 

 

see, this was basically my first REAL, steady relationship & it's lasted... [unexplainably]

i was a complete rooky walking into this relationship & i suppose he was too.. the beginning wasn't glourious or easy at all.

we didn't know how to handle the pressure, negativity, and conflict caused by certain people who were then in our lives as well as family..and from there our problems escaladed even further becoming personal & day by day i only got meaner & more impatient with him & all his many feelings&emotions...

& did i mention mean? it starts mainly out of self defense and other stuff dealing with relationship arguements/disagreements. we just can't agree to disagree, we're too very similar personalities with very oposite perspectives.. not a good combination..

anywho, this has affected me dearly and i'm afraid i'll always be patientless with men & expect too much from them o.0

i don't always want to have to be a douchelord but i feel it's been programed within me recently.

and my sexdrive is suffering from this too... i pretty much lost all the drive i've ever had. it sucks! & he gets depressed&nags me about it.. i feel guilty, but hey i'm not like a guy.. i can't get a rise when ever i have to be REALLY FRICKEN happy... ugggh

 

quick note:

[ he firmly believes i'm a femanist & when we have issues it's always because i'm so "anti-male", according to him. I deny it, i feel like i'm just anti-hiscrap. oh gosh.. i blame it on Jane Eyre and a lot of my prior professors]

 

 

WHAT is there to do ladies?

[bearskittie]

hey i'm the undead,

Hun dont worry about it my first relationship was a nightmare to i thought i loved him but in truth i had been with him so long the fizz had gone and i was there just because we had been together sooo long. Anyways he made me into a b when i was with him i couldnt stand him but when he wasnt there i kinda missed him but in honesty i think i just missed his company. Maybe the same thing is happening to you 2 maybe the fizz has gone and your just there because its what your use to and if your only a b to him then it means that yea you are anit-hiscrap and maybe its time to move on if its just the pressures from things then try to work it out but if not and its an underlying problem i think that there may not be a light at the end of your tunnel with him.

[Unreasonable]

Well, my first 'real' relationship was marriage. I was 22 at the time, and I can tell you I was definitely NOT mature enough or giving enough for it. And it was pretty much mutual. We made it but those first few years of growth were extremely rough.

 

I don't think he made you a * * * * * . You made a very important observation. You can't agree to disagree. This is an important part of any relationship and MUST be learned if you want peace. I don't think it is innately known by many people.

[im_the_undead]

yeah i really do feel that when he's not around i miss his company and that's it. without him around i'm pretty lonely, pathetic i know.

it explains why i don't ever want to initiate in anything sexual.

oh jeez...

i'm so miserably scared of letting go

[Strung_Out00]

Letting go is what's gonna have to happen. You may still love him, but are not "in love" with him. Plus, if the sexual chemistry is totally kaput, then it's only a matter of time until the lack of intimacy itself destroys the relationship.

 

In the words of comedian Ron White:

"I'm a pretty good dog, but if you don't pet me once in a while, it's gonna be hard to keep me under the porch. If you don't have sex with me in three months, I'm gonna go out and have sex with someone else. I know. I've seen me do it."

 

Seriously though, I'm sorry to say that unless you find a way to rekindle the flame, this is on its deathbead.

[im_the_undead]

uggggggghhhhh.... it's all so true & i've been knowing it subconsciously for ever..and kept on pretending..& UGH!

i just so wish i could reverse this whole.. situation! fawk.