Doubt I'd find anyone

[Confused_P]

I just recently graduated and got a great job at a big city. Every aspect of my life is going very well except I've never had a relationship before. I have felt very strongly about a few girls and I'm still good friends with them, but nothing ever developed beyond friendship no matter how much I wanted to. I constantly have this doubt that I would never find anyone. Although a lot of my friends reassure me and tell me that I'm a great guy and deserve a great girl and I shouldn't "sell myself short," but I have this doubt that I'd be "selling myself" at all.

[Nomadic Intent]

Ha, i get the 'great guy' line all the time. I especially love the 'why don't you a have a girlfriend? You're such a catch!'

 

It's all about mindset, the title of the thread is already in the wrong - that you 'doubt' it already.

 

You're off to a great start by graduating and landing a good job. That's gotta be a boost to your self esteem. Run with that, and if you have any hobbies or interests, make some time and explore them! You'll never know who you might meet.

 

Change the mindset into something positive. Try and be happy to yourself - it's the rules of attraction!

[rickishi]

I am posting this from some another post, but I guess it quite fits in to what I want to say

 

Dude , why do you define your life with respect to girls ? why does you life need to depend on a woman ? why should you let a woman complete your life ? you are complete yourself, you dont need some woman to complete your life....

 

One thing I learnt being virgin for 28 years and alone (still am) is never to give importance to girls in life , specially in todays world where most girls never value true love or a genuine human being...

 

Being a complete man is a great experience, improve your fitness, groom yourself well. treat yourself with respect. If a woman is not interested let her go to hell (just a egoistic thought, but helps a long way).

 

Believe me if you get desperate and go begging for love behind girls , you will finally end up more hurt and broke. so chill and enjoy yourself , be a MAN. absence of a woman is not such a big tragedy to make your life worthless

 

Remember : A woman is just part of life , not your complete life , there are many things much more important in life than girls , take care of that and never despair , life is to enjoy with what you have , not despair with what you dont have

[Stay_home]

To be honest, I really don't try to look anymore. I keep my eyes open, but I learned it's the hardest thing to find when you're out there looking and searching for it. So I have a new philosophy, do nothing and don't care. Ironically, I've noticed that the less I tend to care about it the more dates and opportunities seem to come my way. Only on days when I tend to get into my feelings about it does it seem like there's nobody out there. Funny how that works.

 

Somedays I feel like I don't even know what I want anymore. I'm so used to things always messing up anyway whenever I become serious with someone that I sorta feel more comfotable other days being single and not having to worry about a relationship. Then again, it could just be unlucky string of women that I find myself not interested in. But it's always been like that for me; the ones I like, don't like me back. The ones that aren't my type will chase after me until I'm out of breathe. I guess it's better to have someone pursuing after you than nobody, so at least I got something going on I guess.

 

As I'm starting to get a little older I feel like I'm feeling myself getting more and more comfortable just having my freedom. While I'd love to date and have someone special, I really don't feel like spending my days until I'm gray digging for a needle in a haystack. I don't know how the adventure is for those still proud to be in that setting, but for myself, I'm starting to feel like it's not all that worth it anymore, at least for me. I hope I'm not discouraging you. I have my feelings about it based on a lot of things I've been through so that's just me. I'm kind of loner anyway, so I think either or would be NormalSin for me.

[mr me]

I might be coming from out of nowhere with this but sometimes people who are successful are people who dont feel good about themselves. They try to be successful to make up for their weaknesses. It seems like you have accomplish things in other parts of your life but they arent effecting how you see yourself. I think treating yourself better will help your confidence which is pretty much the most important thing when it comes to meeting people. It allows you to go out there and get things instead of waiting for them to happen.

 

Also believing in yourself is another important part because its kinda like with confidence if you have it you attract good things more often. You are open to them happening so you naturally just act in a way that good things can happen to you.

[Panther_Dude]

Good post, but some guys need women. Yea, they can pay for it, but that be bad to do. I know personally I'm on the verge of giving up on women and my life is bleak right now. I know I have to improve my life if I want to find anyone. Or to make myself happy.

 

To the OP, keep your head up. And don't lose your mind. If you are making money and living on your own or with roommates, that's great.

[Confused_P]

Thanks for the replies. I know I should focus on improving myself instead of my lack of companionship, but it's harder said than done. I guess I've always been somewhat of a doormat; I was often the one they came to when they need someone to talk to and to share their worries. I didn't mind being there for them because that's what good friends do, and yes, I do value them as friends as well.

[Mr. Franklin]

I completely disagree with this post. In the guy's first post he tells us that his life is already together. Why not want a woman? You say a woman is not important in life and then say that she is a part of life. The entire post contradicts itself.

 

I never had a relationship myself and my life is together as well. There's nothing wrong with wanting to find someone and go out to try. That's completely normal. In order to find love you must take risks.

 

Confused_P what type of woman are you attracted to? What does this type of woman want in a man? Do you have the qualities that she wants?

[Confused_P]

I'm generally attracted to cheerful, intelligent women. I'm not quite sure what qualities they want in man because what they say they want seem very different from what they actually want. I've been told quite a few times that I'd make a great boyfriend by girls I'd actually like to date and would be shot down later.