Still Friends.. yet changes are on the horizon

[koala725]

Here is a quick brief about the situation: my ex and i are good friends now we dated in high school-college for almost 2 yrs then he broke up with me. a few months afterwards it was almost immediately that we were friends, it was summertime and we just hung out as we always did. of course, as long as it was ok with me. so a year has gone by now and that is exactly how it is now too. close friends with weird tension, but we do a lot together and hang out a good amt of time. My question doesnt relate to the weird tension between him and i because frankly i have no idea where/if that would go anywhere anyways. but we are both still in college, different ones, and next yr for 6 months he'll be studying/travelling/exploring around europe.

Now, my first reaction should be "that is such an awesome opportunity, its going to be so interesting to get to see most of europe and experience everything" and my 2nd reaction is " youre leaving before xmas and new years and youre going to be away having the time of your life for 6 months doing all these crazy things, meeting all kinds of people...," it will feel like he is completely in another world, doing his own thing. by no means would i ever express this kind of reaction bc studying abroad is meant to be this awesome, freedom-filled experience that u change and grow and learn. but because im just not going to know anyone hes befriending, i just will start to feel like how do i compete with europe? it was one thing breaking up and still being at college, meeting and hanging with new friends, but europe is just totally out of the spectrum of that. i feel like when he leaves is either when ill finally have to move on or ill be so insanely jealous,worried and paranoid that i wont be able to focus my energy on my own life.

mainly this is a one-sided worry because mainly what is on his mind is how awesme it will be to finally travel and explore all of europe. doing new things etc. sometimes its easier to say 'all i can do is be happy for him' but theres still that part of me that is just dying and hurting. which i am afraid will only become worse when hes accross the atlantic ocean for half a year.

Also, i feel like since im not his gf and were just friends that even moreso now i feel like i cant do anything or say anything about it. i'm just anohter one of his friends that he expects to be really excited for him. I am and will express that, but the problem is i have feelings for him which is getting in the way of me just seeing him as a friend. i cant have him leave for 6 months and feel fully attached, hes going to be off, free, so far away doing anything he wants.

All i really want from readers is a piece of advice or insight if theyve had to deal with someone going over to europe for study abroad or anything similar to my situation. thanks so much if u read this.

[sff123]

i think it's fair to tell him you'll miss him and also attempt to resume the friendship when he get's back, but otherwise i'd look at it as an opportunity to gain some independence from him. No point in throwing away the relationship if it's a perfectly good one but you shouldn't use it as a crutch either. Basically while he's gone he should be out of sight/out of mind unless he contacts you himself and then you can be friendly and conversational