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Don't know what to make of all this

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I recently made a post about my ex gf and I rather hitting a brick wall recently. Needless to say a pretty huge elephant in the room eventually broke us apart. I don't know if what I said to her exactly helped me in any way with dealing with what I'm going through, but I can't be optimistic.


Her and I officially broke up a few weeks ago. She had a dualistic feel to her that I didn't understand. She wanted me around and hinted at wanting to give it another go, then telling friends and family how I'm not her bf anymore. She wanted me to be her friend and give her company and a place to stay while I got fleeting glances, a few kisses and the hint of sex.


Flash forward to today and I don't really know what did it. Out of no where today she texts me saying something in her just clicked all of a sudden and she realized what she's losing. How am I to really believe her? She professed how deeply, truly sorry she was and that she now realized it was what she involved herself in that ruined the relationship.


It genuinely sounded like she was breaking down over what she had done to me, but I could never truly know if it were true. The problem is I really want it to be. I would want nothing more than for her to come through these doors tomorrow and tell me what a mistake she's made. That she is no longer in a position to give into desires she controls.


Alas I'm stuck feeling like it's all I really wanted was to love her and be loved back. Like it was so much to ask from a person. Truth is I don't know how likely the chance is of her and I being there. Things are shaky at best and it has me feeling lost on what do I do.

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