Had my first date today.......oh my.

[annbuckley]

Hey folks.

 

I had my first date today and oh my..........I dunno if I can do this. How do you not talk about the ex. It is soooooooooooooooo fresh and the thought of doing this is rather intimidating.

 

Now, my date went well. No spark, but that is probably good. I had a showing of my house which has been for sale for a couple of months. I was so tired of crying. Last year, I went on a dating site. Nothing came of it as I was nervous. I went back on, because my ex was, and I wanted to see what he wrote. I was on for less than 24 hours and one guy that had contacted me last year reintroduced himself. As I said, nothing came of it last year, so i was flattered that he remembered me. He asked for my phone number and so we decided today to take my dogs for a walk while my house was showing.

 

He seems nice, but he couldn't stop saying how he had difficulty finding love. He said it a lot. He had been on the site for two years, met 50 or 60 women but wasn't connected to any of them - although some he hung out with reminded him of his sisters.

 

For me, it was a big step. I am not sure I like it.

 

How is it possible that my ex could have been on these sites and found a new girlfriend ALREADY! It is like a slap in my face ....or worse. He has no taste and is desperate. But that can't be true ............ was I that too?

 

Anybody else go through this? When does it stop feeling so alien? When can I look at a guy and not think about my former life?

 

Ann

[dancingcolors]

I am doing a little better after 15 months. I actually went on a internet date with a guy a few weeks ago, and had a really good time. It even felt a little romantic. We ordered fondue, and somehow it got us a little drunk, without us knowing, and then a band came along suddenly, and it was kind of magical. He said he had a great time, and then I never heard from him again. At least I was capable of having a good time with him.

 

For a couple of minutes, I told hi about my breakup, this was after an hour and a half, and he said you are doing great. You are just blabbing about it all over the table. i didn't even want to. I am kind of done talking about him to peope in real life. I talk about him on here, and to myself still alot.

[Puckdog27]

Hey folks.

 

I had my first date today and oh my..........I dunno if I can do this. How do you not talk about the ex. It is soooooooooooooooo fresh and the thought of doing this is rather intimidating.

 

When can I look at a guy and not think about my former life?

 

 

This is all a sign that you simply arent ready to be in a relationship, and thats ok. Doesnt mean you shouldnt go out and have a good time. Just be honest with your feelings. If you see someone seems more interested in moving into it then you do, simply tell them the truth. It will get easier, and dates are like job interviews, the more you do it, the easier it gets.

[sunday2010]

been there and done this.I've had 6-8 dates in two months..

 

not going well.. so i dunno you may not be ready/

 

yeah it sucks how some can get on these sites and find somebody right away.

 

while I struggle... I mayu have to step back and see what happens...

[annbuckley]

Thanks Puckdog - you make a good point. By the by, I love your quotes. Right on.

 

Thanks to the others as well. It is true, in time and on time, the right partner will appear. I am not in a hurry, just intimidated by the whole process. It has been a while. Most importantly, I want to stop the obsession of my ex and remind myself what is cool in my life without him!

 

wow..............anyone know how to quit the obsession?