Almost 5 months out.

[GenoGeno]

I don't even know what to feel. I feel a lot better for one but I only recently cut contact about 2 weeks ago and this is the longest I've gone with NC for the whole 2.5 years I've known her. I was really pissing her off by saying I still loved her and I can't live without her. My love was true, I'm sorry for being neglectful blah blah blah. She just wasn't having any of it and pretty much was cruel and mean to me about it all. I feel weird knowing that she's not initiating any contact anymore on weekends like she did for the full 4 months post break up. I feel like she's actually never going to call me again now and it's kind of in striking a fear i guess you would say in me. Because I feel way to idiotic to try to ever contact her again. I feel like even if i tried to talk to her in 4 months from now she'd think I was still just not over her and I'm some obsessive freak. Soooo...I guess I have no choice but to just continue NC and try not to think about her each and every day. I do love this person still though and it urks me she doesn't understand at all that love just doesn't die in a month. I think she think's it's weird that i still love her after 4 months and I don't think it's weird at all. Would it ever be even okay in my situation to strike conversation up months down the line?

[ev1782]

Hey man, We must have broken up about the same time. Cause im going on 5 months myself and let me tell ya it Got a lot easier for me... I FORCED myself to move on through NC, even though i dreaded it but I prayed a lot and just involved myself in the things that are most important to me,,, God, Family, Music, Friends, Job, Sports, etc...

 

Since then ive made TONS of new friends,,, even have met NEW potential girls. Its funny how i can appreciate woman now more for what they have to offer on the inside than putting so much emphasis on outer appearance...(sorry for ranting, back to you)....

 

I guess what im trying to say is,, SPEND your time more wisely man. Remove her from your life completely,,, I dated my ex for almost 2 years and fell HARDDDDDDDDDDDD for her,, loved her with every fiber of my being,,, she was my everything and that was the problem. Regain your identity, remember that being single is a GREAT season in your life filled with endless opportunities

 

You cant start a new chapter in your life without closing the old one. You wont kno how the story ends either... just a thought.

 

EDIT: im still not fully over the relationship,,, But ive let go of A LOT of it and dont even want her back at this point! Having control over my heart and mind is FREEDOM!

[jimmajam]

In your current mindset, no, do not even think about contacting her now or in 4 months. I think you are at a similar spot to where I was at 5 months. I thought the same way as you did in that I felt like I couldn't contact her, because any contact, she would take as me being needy or not being able to move on - even if it was just friendly and honestly trying to catch up. Keep no contact and in a few months you'll reach the point where you feel okay with contacting or NOT contacting your ex. That's where I am at right now.

 

THEN you can contact her, because you won't worry about how she feels about it, or how she takes the contact. More than likely though you'll just want to leave things be knowing that you tried to work things out, you did love her and still do. She can come around for friendship, love, whatever and if not well, she obviously didn't feel as strong about you. It's a good place.

 

I sent my ex a birthday card last week and I was truly okay with a response or no response. So far - nothing.

 

Trust me, if you truly realize right now that she doesn't want your contact, you are on the right track. Give it time and the playing field will level.

[jenna-is-here]

I am familiar with your story. I am glad you cut contact. It sounds like you are starting to progress with your healing.

 

Dont forget, I think she was giving you mixed messages by hanging out with you after breakup so dont be so hard on yourself for going after what you wanted. At least you can move on knowing you put it all out there. You will never have to wonder "what if" because you didnt really show her what you wanted.

 

I have had some "what if's" and wish I did more after a breakup, and that feels just as crappy too.

 

Let time pass, get strong, stay balanced, and dont think about what she thinks of you right now. In time, you may be surprised that will be a non-issue if you do talk to her or run into her because she will see a whole new person.

[GenoGeno]

I haven't seen her once since the break up in February since we're somewhat long distance. About an hour and a half away. So i doubt i'd just bump into her. It sucks though i was actually feeling better and now WITH cut contact I feel like I'm hurting everyday...or maybe it's because the last words I talked to her with were her being annoyed at talking to her. I just wish people didn't change...sure if you wanna break up with me fine. That's understandable if I was neglectful but I still care and i just don't understand why people don't have any decency to at least try to make the person they hurt feel better. Instead they just become distant, mean and cold.

[GenoGeno]

Another thing that's bugging me is school is becoming so overwhelming and i have to go through it all summer, so I pretty much don't even get a summer. I helped her though all her stressful overwhelming school moments...and now that I'm in school and going through them I'm left in the dust...and it angers me so much .