When NC is not an option....

[tintin_K]

Well, me and my ex work together and HAVE to run into each other/interact quite often. I changed my project last Nov when things were getting strained (but not broken yet), so the interaction is a lot less than before but it is still there. I try my best to be my normal self but can't help but feel self consious. I also analyse any small amount of of our interactions - but it is getting better and better everyday. I dont want to change my job altogether because I have worked really hard to be where I am today and I am in a very good position.

So, my question is in situations like mine, how do I ensure that he doesnt see my discomfort, respect me (he has never been disrespectful and I dont want that to change) and possibly even miss me. Is that even possible?

[Cadence44]

I think that you need to be strong since there are no other options. It's going to be hard but once you get in the groove you'll do fine.

 

Here's what I would do: When you interact with him, don't let him see you sweat. Let him think you're doing just fine and aren't sad anymore and that he doesn't cross your mind.

 

You should be friendly and talk to him if he approaches you, but don't approach him unless it's work-related and you can't avoid it. Never let the conversation get beyond small talk and never let it run very long. If he tries to bring up the relationship, smile and say that you don't want to talk about it and change the topic.

 

Treat him like any other coworker, but one that you know better than to grow closer to.