I dont like how I am.

[TakingItBack]

Hello, Im Zach & im new here.

 

The thing is, I am starting to hate how I am. I am a shy person. I have been sky my whole life. I have a hard time keeping friends because of this. I know its because im too shy and cant hold conversations. But somehow I managed to get a group of friends who dont really mind how I am and are always up for hanging out.

 

Usually when im with I dont speak much and they say stuff like "zach you never talk!". I try to but its hard for me.

And I started going to clubs with my friends. My friends are all good looking and confident. But I am the least attractive of all of them and I am not confident. When someone pulls out a camera they dont hesitate to jump into the picture, while I am finding things to hide behind so Im not in the photo. And when we are in clubs, when a good song comes on all my friends head for the dance floor. I tried to dance with them a few times but every time I feel out of place and I feel like I look like a moron dancing. So most of the time I dont dance. I feel like im like a buzz kill and not fun to hang out with.

oh and also If I take a photo of myself I can point out 100 flaws about myself.

 

 

I dont know what Im asking really..advise maybe? I dont know...

I am just not liking myself right now

 

I just want to be confident and to be ok with the way I look and just be able to go out and have a fun time.

[brahman]

Hello, Im Zach & im new here.

 

The thing is, I am starting to hate how I am. I am a shy person. I have been sky my whole life. I have a hard time keeping friends because of this. I know its because im too shy and cant hold conversations. But somehow I managed to get a group of friends who dont really mind how I am and are always up for hanging out.

 

If I take a photo of myself I can point out 100 flaws about myself.

 

I just want to be confident and to be ok with the way I look and just be able to go out and have a fun time.

 

I left in quotes what I am responding too.

 

I would tell you to stop worrying about your looks, but that is a useless comment that you will not follow. So for now, I will tell you that you are ugly, stupid looking, a waste of time for most women.......

 

So here's the deal, there is someone out there for you, there is someone that will feel great around you, and you will feel great around them. The problem is that you are not showing the best of who you are to them. In fact there is no one who gets to see that, so remember that every time you meet a girl who's time you are wasting. Remember that this girl could actually be someone who is gonna be special in your life, but you decided that you were gonna run and hide. You can either decide to take the hits, or not, because you don't spend time trying to get someone in your life for you, but rather you do it for them. You are being brave for them, so you can brighten there life and not yours.

[Sui]

I was kinda like that...not to that extent as I have no problem with expressing myself, i can be chatty sometimes. I'm introverted too. I have times when I can't get easily in the mood because I'm putting unnecessary barriers between me and others. Try to loosen up. I've tried it and when I put some efforts it works, I manage to really enjoy the moment. I forget my looks and I just dance. Say f*ck to your insecurities when they interfere in these situations.

You don't know how to dance? it's fine, do whatever you feel, train yourself at home (I do that and really enjoy dancing by myself), you don't need to be a great dancer. You don't like appearing on pictures? Me too, I'm sometimes so conscious of my looks that I freeze a little when my friends want to take a pic of me but now I'm like "ok, it's not like I'm repulsive, I'm with people who like me anyway, they see me all the time and didn't get scared lol".

Just open up more...put these barries/fears or whatever behind you, and enjoy your life. Also don't compare yourself with your friends...they are attractive, yes, but you are as well. Beauty is subjective, and self-confidence increases your attractiveness. I learned that and seen that on people.

(sorry for my poor English =/)

[darkcustom]

I'm shy. I feel unattractive. And I can point out 200 things wrong with me in every picture. But I know that being confident is way above being good looking (unless you are looking like Sloth from the Goonies).

 

Maybe you are in the wrong crowd. You need to feel comfortable and feel like you can contribute to the conversation. What are your interests? It sounds like you're not the club and party type so why go to those?

 

I'm going to guess that you like games (WoW?), probably visit 4Chan?

 

There is nothing wrong with that if you do. Cause there are girls that do those things. I spent a year and half with a girl that I met playing WoW. She was awesome, hot, and a blast to be with. She crushed my heart but thats all apart of dating.

 

So whatever interest you is where you should be looking because you will be more confident to discuss those interests. And then after that initial terrifying meeting it gets easier to talk about other things.

[ck1000]

 

Usually when im with I dont speak much and they say stuff like "zach you never talk!". I try to but its hard for me.

 

I am shy as well and don't usually talk all that much around my friends, and I hear this all the time. One thing I really wish people would realize is that saying things like that to a shy person is NOT going to get them to talk. For me it does the exact opposite. I just get irritated with them for pointing it out and then I talk even less. The people I get along best with, and the ones I am more outgoing with, are the ones who do not constantly point out how little I talk. Those are the people I try to be around more, and those who feel like I don't talk to them enough I spend a lot less time with. If they can't accept the fact that I don't run my mouth constantly (as some of them do), then I don't want to be spending time with them anyway.

 

It's really tough for me to make friends, so I try to hold on to the few good friends I have. I can understand you wanting to be more comfortable doing the things that your friends like doing, even if they may not be things that you like to do. I used to do a lot of things with my friends that I was never comfortable doing, and probably never will be comfortable doing. I went to clubs and hated going. I went to parties where everyone was getting drunk except me (I don't drink at all) and hated those too. Recently, I have started to realize that if my friends are always doing things that I don't like to do...are they the right people for me to be hanging out with? I still consider them friends, and I hope they consider me a friend, but I don't think I've ever really fit in with them. Sounds like you might be in a similar situation.

[ceez]

I'm another shy one, a lot of times I just don't have anything to say or can't relate to the topic or don't know how to start a conversation. then when I do force myself to hangout with friends I always hear about the awesome time they had hanging out with other people. I got low self esteem too and I can't dance.