Today is the 25th-- Exactly 3 months Since Break-up.

[ElectricSheep123]

Well, It's been exactly 3 months since I broke up with the ex, which means it's been 3 months of strict and total NC (from my end; he's tried to initiate contact).

It feels strange. I love him. I miss him. I hate him. I hope where ever he is, he's doing great. I hope he's in misery, pining away for me.

 

just needed to rant.

[shrinkisdead]

Well, It's been exactly 3 months since I broke up with the ex, which means it's been 3 months of strict and total NC (from my end; he's tried to initiate contact).

It feels strange. I love him. I miss him. I hate him. I hope where ever he is, he's doing great. I hope he's in misery, pining away for me.

 

just needed to rant.

 

Love and Hate are the same emotion, at least in my opinion. How are you doing with the rest of your life? Finding things that make you happy?

[sunday2010]

Wow I guess I'm on my way to where you are....Except I have tried contact.

thats the diffrence. 6.5 weeks out

 

so even now 3 months later how are you actaully doing? whats happening with you how do you feel about the breakup these days?i

 

I dunno if you're read my posts but I just had a brain explosion and most on here have pulled me into line.stupid thoughts I've had.

 

Thsi weekend is going to be tough for me

 

can your remember how you were doing where I'm at at the moment?

 

anyway best of luck

[ElectricSheep123]

Love and Hate are the same emotion, at least in my opinion. How are you doing with the rest of your life? Finding things that make you happy?

 

Everything is coming ok, I guess.

It's a really complicated thing with the ex. I'm gay, and I live in a very quiet, conservative suburban area. He lives downtown, where all the parties, gay clubs, action and excitement are. He was my gateway into that world. I've not only lost the love of my life, but the only person who understood me, and who made my life fun, unpredictable and exciting. He meant so much to me.

 

I've been going to the gym. But that's it. My life has gone back to being boring, predictable and monotonous.

[shrinkisdead]

Everything is coming ok, I guess.

It's a really complicated thing with the ex. I'm gay, and I live in a very quiet, conservative suburban area. He lives downtown, where all the parties, gay clubs, action and excitement are. He was my gateway into that world. I've not only lost the love of my life, but the only person who understood me, and who made my life fun, unpredictable and exciting. He meant so much to me.

 

I've been going to the gym. But that's it. My life has gone back to being boring, predictable and monotonous.

 

Ooh I can help with this! You need to make your own unpredictable. Take a random trip by yourself if you have to! Take a drive accross state lines, go to a zoo, call up an old friend and go to a coffee shop you haven't been to before.

 

PS - not gay but have way too many gay friends We are in south dakota, this place sucks for them. So I get what you are saying, you poor guys do have a tougher time with breakups. There are just less options that don't include the ex

[sunday2010]

Everything is coming ok, I guess.

It's a really complicated thing with the ex. I'm gay, and I live in a very quiet, conservative suburban area. He lives downtown, where all the parties, gay clubs, action and excitement are. He was my gateway into that world. I've not only lost the love of my life, but the only person who understood me, and who made my life fun, unpredictable and exciting. He meant so much to me.

 

I've been going to the gym. But that's it. My life has gone back to being boring, predictable and monotonous.

 

same here!!! I mean not the gay part, but life is boring monotonous etc.It must be hard to go back to that.I know it is for me .Although I'v ebeen getting into some new things but work(work times) is interfering with it now so its kind of cut it off.But Yeah life was more exciting with him in it.But guess we hav eto move on which I'm trying to do .

 

do you feel kind of ok 3 months out... i mean it must be better than the 6.5 weeks out i'm in.

[ElectricSheep123]

Wow I guess I'm on my way to where you are....Except I have tried contact.

thats the diffrence. 6.5 weeks out

 

so even now 3 months later how are you actaully doing? whats happening with you how do you feel about the breakup these days?i

 

I dunno if you're read my posts but I just had a brain explosion and most on here have pulled me into line.stupid thoughts I've had.

 

Thsi weekend is going to be tough for me

 

can your remember how you were doing where I'm at at the moment?

 

anyway best of luck

 

Three months later, I don't even know where I am.

I miss him like crazy. I'm at the stage where my mood towards him alternates between love and nostalgia, and intense hatred. It's very exhausting.

 

About the break-up? Well, he cheated on me, so at times I feel I did the right thing by dumping him.

At times, I regret dumping him and think I may have overreacted with telling him how much I hated him, and not speaking to him for 3 months (and counting).

 

At the 6 weeks marks, I was in counseling and trying to pull myself together and not contact him. It goes up and down. I'd be lying if I said I i didn't think about him every single day.

 

By the way, why is this weekend going to be tough?

[ElectricSheep123]

Ooh I can help with this! You need to make your own unpredictable. Take a random trip by yourself if you have to! Take a drive accross state lines, go to a zoo, call up an old friend and go to a coffee shop you haven't been to before.

 

PS - not gay but have way too many gay friends We are in south dakota, this place sucks for them. So I get what you are saying, you poor guys do have a tougher time with breakups. There are just less options that don't include the ex

 

Break-ups are tougher, esp for me. I live in an area where all my friends are straight. They are open, but won't go to a gay club. Or they say they will, but never do. He was my first real relationship, and I keep thinking: "If I don't even have gay friends, how the heck am I gonna put myself out there enough to find another bf?"

 

It's hard, but what can I do?

[ElectricSheep123]

same here!!! I mean not the gay part, but life is boring monotonous etc.It must be hard to go back to that.I know it is for me .Although I'v ebeen getting into some new things but work(work times) is interfering with it now so its kind of cut it off.But Yeah life was more exciting with him in it.But guess we hav eto move on which I'm trying to do .

 

do you feel kind of ok 3 months out... i mean it must be better than the 6.5 weeks out i'm in.

 

See post #7

[sunday2010]

You prob don't know my story..

 

EX is going to be in my city and i wrote atopic here saying i should try and contact him EVEN Though I'ev heard ZERO from him in the last 6.5 weeks and hes ignored all attempts at contact from me.crazy me he threw away his mobile phone number!!! thats how much he obviously hated me

 

its a complex story.Together 4 years, he broke up with me promised we'd stay in touch hasn't done so at all, he lives 3 hours away where we lived togther for 6 mths, then broke up. Obviously more to this story but can't post it all here.the short of it is.I keep thinking he'll reach out because he'll be in my city where I live now this weekend but as we all know miracles don't happen.I remembered a date he had for a concert and I know he'll be there this weekend but all the members on here said i just can't go and do that sort of stuff like trying to contact him he'll think I'm a stalker.I know the phone number where he'll be staying, but all have advised me to back away and do ZERO.

 

sorry to rant but all the best.I really feel for you and there was no cheating in my case so its a bit diffrent .I wish I was 3 months in maybe I would be more together than I am now. and not thinking foolishly

 

I felt it was my last chance.....

[shrinkisdead]

Break-ups are tougher, esp for me. I live in an area where all my friends are straight. They are open, but won't go to a gay club. Or they say they will, but never do. He was my first real relationship, and I keep thinking: "If I don't even have gay friends, how the heck am I gonna put myself out there enough to find another bf?"

 

It's hard, but what can I do?

 

I am telling you. Crazy things are the answer. Break your own monotany. Take a risk! Go to a gay club by yourself sometime for just like an hour. Maybe go to a straight bar with a friend or two. It's not about "finding" someone as much as finding yourself. You need to be happy, and find whatever that is.

 

And this is sad, but you will never stop thinking about him. He was a big part of your life, would you want to forget the progress you made in your life? It's not about forgetting like it is about accepting that part of your life as something that happened, with good and bad. Now you need to create a new part of your life, with things that make you the type of person you want to be.

[ElectricSheep123]

I'd say you definitely seem like a stalker and too clingy if you were to show up at the concert. The more you contact him, the more power you give him, and the colder and more distant he gets. Don't boost his ego anymore.

 

It's the opposite with me. NC is a power thing, to be honest. And when I cut my ex out of my life, I had all the power. And when he called and e-mailed me, I had all the power. My ego grew. I felt good.

 

He's stopped trying to contact me, out of hopelessness or resentment, and now he has the power, although he doesn't know it. Because I obsess about why he's not trying anymore. And every time the phone rings, I hope it's him.

 

The point I'm trying to make is that I'm like your ex. When the calls come, the ego gets a boost, and in turn, I respond coldly towards him. That's what he's doing towards you. But if u stop trying to call/contact him, he'll start to miss it, just like I'm missing my ex calling me.

[ElectricSheep123]

I am telling you. Crazy things are the answer. Break your own monotany. Take a risk! Go to a gay club by yourself sometime for just like an hour. Maybe go to a straight bar with a friend or two. It's not about "finding" someone as much as finding yourself. You need to be happy, and find whatever that is.

 

And this is sad, but you will never stop thinking about him. He was a big part of your life, would you want to forget the progress you made in your life? It's not about forgetting like it is about accepting that part of your life as something that happened, with good and bad. Now you need to create a new part of your life, with things that make you the type of person you want to be.

 

Thank you so much. I needed that. My biggest problem has always been taking risks. I'm usually a bit shy, until I really warm up to someone, and I almost never make the first move (thank God my ex was a confident party goer).

 

Eventually I'll get to thinking of it as a part of my past. Right now, it influences me so much, and in a negative light. The Pride Parade is coming up in a few weeks, and I know my ex is going to be there. And I'm obsessively going to the gym (see my pic on my profile) to try and look even better, in the hopes of showing off my to ex. And even when I'm tired or have to go to work, I'd force myself to go to the gym, even calling in sick at work so I can go. It's sad, I know.

 

I need to find myself. First, I need to move downtown, or find another gateway.

[sunday2010]

No I wasn't going to go to the concert god no and I certainly wasn't going to pay for a concert i didn't want to see .I was just going to call the house he woudl be staying at because I knew the phone number unlike right now where this is no number I can even reach him on.But everybody on here have pulled me into line.so as you said Nothing will be happening.

[hater13]

5 more days until the 3 month anniversary of my break up LOL

 

and I don't even feel slighty better.

[ElectricSheep123]

5 more days until the 3 month anniversary of my break up LOL

 

and I don't even feel slighty better.

 

Well, at least it alternates right? If you're down in the dumps 24/7s, u may be suffering from a depression.

 

Keep strong. I wish you all the best.

[sunday2010]

5 more days until the 3 month anniversary of my break up LOL

 

and I don't even feel slighty better.

 

oh i guess it takes a while.I was talking to somebody about a 12 year marriage that broke up due to cheating and they said the first 12 months were the hardest, but thats a marriage and 12 years not 4 years and no marriage like me. so i guess 3 months is a drop in the ocean,

 

more fun to look forward to

 

2010 the annus horribilus's to end all annus horribiluses!!!

 

in case you don't know what that means it means a very very bad year!!!!!

[hater13]

Well, at least it alternates right? If you're down in the dumps 24/7s, u may be suffering from a depression.

 

Keep strong. I wish you all the best.

 

not really. there hasn't been a "great" day since. Yea it's probably depression, I don't think being prescribed anti-depressants is the best thing for me. I'm waiting it out, and yes I realize clinical depression can lead to suicide and many other mental health issues, I am pre-med after all.

[ElectricSheep123]

The pain hits more when you're about to sleep. He's always the last thing on my mind right before I close my eyes. Sigh. My first real heartbreak. It's a natural part of growing up, I guess.

 

But how do I get over this? I try so hard, and I just can't get over him cheating. Three months of pain and heartache, humiliation, feeling worthless, like I couldn't fulfill him. And the sad part is that he's probably off somewhere having fun, not a care in the world about all the people's he's hurt.

 

Chris, I hope karma comes back to make you suffer. I hate you with every part of me. And when you're at your lowest, think of me-- somewhere I'll be smiling, knowing that you're getting exactly what you deserve.

[sunday2010]

The pain hits more when you're about to sleep. He's always the last thing on my mind right before I close my eyes. Sigh.

 

I can relate to this its been like that for 6.5 weeks iT really sucks, it happens to me too.I just wish i had a new boyfriend and moving right on.I don't want to be here in 3 months alone.I just want to find a soulmate again. he was supposed of been my soulmate but he threw it away.I dunno maybe think of all the things you wnat to do before you go to bed.I ahd some full of dreams afew weeks back.i still get them here and there.I just hope thinsg change for the better soon.

[MsDexter]

Oh my this post scares the hell out of me lol.

[ElectricSheep123]

Oh my this post scares the hell out of me lol.

 

Why exactly are you scared?

[MsDexter]

Being stuck on someone for months and months and not being able to move on. It's only been a week for me and I feel really crappy and I guess that's only natural but feeling this crap for months and months is a scary thought.

[shrinkisdead]

The pain hits more when you're about to sleep. He's always the last thing on my mind right before I close my eyes. Sigh. My first real heartbreak. It's a natural part of growing up, I guess.

 

But how do I get over this? I try so hard, and I just can't get over him cheating. Three months of pain and heartache, humiliation, feeling worthless, like I couldn't fulfill him. And the sad part is that he's probably off somewhere having fun, not a care in the world about all the people's he's hurt.

 

Chris, I hope karma comes back to make you suffer. I hate you with every part of me. And when you're at your lowest, think of me-- somewhere I'll be smiling, knowing that you're getting exactly what you deserve.

 

Depression is reciprocal in nature. The mornings are tough, get better, and then the evenings are tough again. Most people who suffer from one depression can expect another. It's tough, but it's kind of life.

[ElectricSheep123]

Depression is reciprocal in nature. The mornings are tough, get better, and then the evenings are tough again. Most people who suffer from one depression can expect another. It's tough, but it's kind of life.

 

Today is especially bad for me. It's like I'm remembering everything and going through all the emotions all over again (and to make it worse, I keep picturing him cheating).

Maybe it's because I'm mourning the anniversary. But I'm feeling so down right now, words can't even describe it. I'm supposed to go to work right now (I work in retail, so I'm gonna be standing all day with a fake, perky persona), and I find it hard to drag myself out of bed.

 

And the sad thing is, he probably doesn't even know it's our break-up anniversary. He's probably off somewhere having fun. It's hard not feeling sorry for myself. But this too shall pass... I hope.