NC for 3 months but feel like dieing today :(

[flyguy23]

guys, ive been nc for just about 3 months and she has too. Theres times when i feel fine, today i have these destructive thoughts in my head again. I keep thinking about how she broke up with me and i never got closure and how much it hurt. Now im thinking how im 28 years old and will i ever meet "the one" and i dont know if ill ever move on from her for good and if ill ever be able to open to someone else again. Do i just remain single for now. Weve only been broken up for about 4 months although it feels like forever. Its crazy I still wake up some mornings and I talk to her in my mind sometimes if that makes sense. I really thought we were right for each other. We let her irrationality and mine never caring enough get in the way. I still think the wound is fresh. As much as i miss her from time to time, I still dont go out of my way to find out what shes up to these days and i never text or call her. I just want to know if theres some hope in the future, a light at the end of the tunnel. It just sucks that im getting older and just dont think ill meet the one. And if i do even meet the one how will i start a family and stuff one day considering my parents live with me also. I dont know please someone shed some light thanks

[Puckdog27]

guys, ive been nc for just about 3 months and she has too. Theres times when i feel fine, today i have these destructive thoughts in my head again. I keep thinking about how she broke up with me and i never got closure and how much it hurt.

Sometimes, just accepting that you will never get the answers you seek and there isnt a damn thing you can do about it is closure enough.

 

Now im thinking how im 28 years old and will i ever meet "the one" and i dont know if ill ever move on from her for good and if ill ever be able to open to someone else again.

 

I finally meet "the one" at age 39. Shes amazing and was worth the wait and all the ones before her, the heartaches, break ups, all prepared me for her. As for moving on, thats up to you. You can dwell on heartache and the past, or you can go grab the future. As far as opening up, again, thats only something you can want to do. But if you expect someone to love you entirely, you have to open up and take that chance again.

[Flint_Wood]

You are longing to meet "the one", but are unsure if you'll be ready for her.

 

A good distraction is to make yourself ready. That is a huge task and now's the perfect time to work towards that goal.

 

You mentioned she was irrational and you never cared enough. These are not small issues, they can break and have broken relationships. You never want to go through this pain again, so learn how to recognize and resolve these issues in the future.

[ewr]

Just the fact that you have kept up NC for three months is great. Keep NOT checking up on her, that will def. set you back.

 

These thoughts your having sound like your wallowing a little bit...You need to work on stopping them, or diverting them. 28 is not old. I said this in a post the other day. There are people on here in there 40's and 50's, how do you think they feel? Say you want to get married at 35, that's still 7 YEARS to find another "one" man 7 YEARS!!!

 

I don't know the situation with your parents, you said they live with you, not you live with them, so it might be that your letting them stay at your house? If that's the case, then good for you, your a good person for doing that for them. If your staying with them, then maybe this is a good time to start to get your life moving, pick a career, or change to a better one, move out, and start experiencing life more.

 

How were you planning on starting a family with your ex, your in the same situation as before, right? You are the same person as before she left, you can still aspire to do the same things, albeit without HER specifically, you can't forget that.

[anu1560]

I am 31 and broken hearted for around 2 months now. If I have created a hope that I will meet my soulmate, then you can certainly do it. And you are 3 years younger to me. You will meet your soulmate. Just love yourself and make yourself happy and relax. It is still too fresh for you to even think of loving someone else.

 

Now does your parents live with you or you live with your parents? If you are living with your parents, may be you need to take this time and gap you have in your life to build a bridge between your parents place and your new place. And that bridge can be getting further education or a job that can get you out of your parents place if that is what you want. If your parents live with you for either financial or health or some other issues, then it is different. Then you have to work around your parents only. I have seen many people having successfully married even though the parents lived with the person.

 

So have hope. You will be fine. Really. But you have to work on yourself to be fine. If you sit and do nothing, things may get better but may take longer time. So take action.

[flyguy23]

thanks for all the insight guys. Well I have my own house but they live with me. My mother has alot of health issues and same with my dad. I cant let them be on their own so i took them in. Right before she broke up with me she complained that I didnt propose to her and she said said no offense but i wouldnt wanna live with your parents. So maybe its for the best because I felt like she was making me choose. We were together 3 years. We had some great times, some not so great times. She did a great deal for me, at times i felt like it wasnt worth it because of what she put me through. I dont know guess im just missing her today because even though she was a pain in the ass sometimes, she still listened to me. Just miss holding her. But i gotta be strong. I say i miss her now but what if we were still together or got married. I would picture once in awhile being married to her and I could picture her filing for divorce. Jeez, she was just the most irrational human being i ever met! She had a problem from what i did to who i was with, everything was an issue. SHe was crazy about me though. SHe would never let me go. We took a break and then one day she just ended up breaking up with me. I tried to reconcile with her and she just kep telling me to move on, to get over it, end of story. Thats the last thing i remember. so why would i wanna be with someone like that? guess i just answered my own question

[scheme00]

you know what...if i met a girl who had her own house and let her parents live with her, she would get more respect from me than anyone else. Its not like your a loser and cant move out. Your taking on more responsibility. Keep your chin up man...my ex was dating someone new 2 weeks later. Loved her to death...still do...but she replaced me so I need to move on. And so do you. It always feels like this after a loving break up so know that you will love again. And dont rush looking for someone new. Grieve, work on yourself, get better, be single and be patient to find the right one. My mom told me once "be careful of giving your heart up too soon." It's true!

[Puckdog27]

[thanks for all the insight guys. Well I have my own house but they live with me. My mother has alot of health issues and same with my dad. I cant let them be on their own so i took them in.

 

Not exactly living in the parents basement. This is actually quite commendable of you. Says alot about what a good person you are.

 

 

Right before she broke up with me she complained that I didnt propose to her and she said said no offense but i wouldnt wanna live with your parents.

 

Says alot about her............

[Confused7]

you sound a lot like me, and to be honest what's really helped me is talking to other girls. there are a couple girls i've tried to put myself out there with and the attention i'm getting back from them is really making things easier. i'm a little over 3 months no contact and i have my good and bad days too. no matter how long you think this'll last, just remember its a phase and you'll be happy again soon.