He's Doesn't Get the Hint; wut can i do?(p[lease help)

[siltry_sun]

hi my name is not important, however my problem is. My sister has a slight "obsessed" best friend.

 

You see, she has this great boyfriend, and they really DO love eachother, but there's a slight problem. She has this guy friend, and she really cares about him, and he cares about her too...but a little too much. He doesn't like her boy friend at all, and even though she's told him that she only loves him as a friend, ... he doesn't get it. he does all kinds of crazy things to himself and he seriously like worships her. Im really worried about her, and i only hope that he will get it and back the hell off...

 

so my question to you is this, we've tried the direct approach of" im sorry i don't like u like that" , but he still lingers on. so wut can we/ I do to help him get he hint, and realize that the picture of her love life, DOESN'T have him in it?

 

Thank you so much for your advice, i really do apriciate it.

[Gilgamesh]

Well its very simple, your sister has a boyfriend that she loves, thats who she is committed to, the other person she may think of as a friend but he is no friend, he is person seeking her love, not friendship, he only says hes a friend to better his chances with her.

 

Your sister needs to break off contact with this guy, yes I know it will make her feel bad, because she thinks of him as a friend, and all, but:

 

1) Its not fair to her boyfriend, that she maintains contact with someone that is only trying to win her over, and she knows it.

 

2) Not fair to the friend, because he thinks he still has a chance, because she still allows him to be around which he sees as her having an interest in him.

 

She needs to do a cold turkey on him out, no more!, she can just tell him I'm sorry, I tried to be your friend but your looking for more, and thats disrespectful to me and the man i love. I love my boyfriend, and its not fair to him, to let you around when we both know what you really want.

 

He will probably say he promises to behave, or he will leave and often bump into her by accident , that kinda thing, she needs to close the door on this guy 100% if she is leading this guy on (as a spare tire) or to have him around to make her boyfriend jealous, well that would just be very mean and low and she should stop.

 

the best thing she can do for him is to cut him off, so that he can move on, and find someone else and be happy, she will be doing him a favor, even though he will be hurt at first.

[00Spartan00]

Personally, If it was my girlfriend that hat the problem, I'd have taken the physical route to put him out of the picture along time ago. If things get so serious that he stalks and never stops calling and all that other crap you see in the movies, then get the cops involved. But until than, this is all on your sister. SHE is the one the dude likes, and SHE is the one who needs to explain, (bluntly), that he isn't a person she would ever get involved with. And that the more he keeps the obsession crap up, the less she wants to even wants to look at him. She isn't the only girl in the world and on top of that she is taken. Yes, SHE should break of the relationship with the worsipper before things get out of hand if they aren't already. But like i said, nothing said to this kid means crap unless it comes straight from the horses mouth A.K.A your sister *Not an insult, just a saying*

[siltry_sun]

thanx guys...but the only thing is that her friendship with this guy meens alot to her(they've been really good friends for a long time), and she HAS bluntly said that it isn't going to happen. and if it helps on ur adice she is not leading her friend on at all, and she's only 15, her boyfriend is 16, and her friend is alot younger than she is.

 

so i dunno but thanx for the advice

[cottoncandyzsxy]

Hey siltrysun.

I have actually heard alot of problems like this. The best thing to do would be to tell the guy that she isn't interested in him. I don't see how being friends with him after that is such a sin. Emotions change... one day you could be head over heals for someone, and the next day your not. Tell your friend to give it time. The guy is bound to snap out of it, and when he does, she will have a friend that will probably last longer than most others. If she really does care about him as much as she says she does, tell her to tell him that, and get on with it!