Am I crazy??

[confusedadult]

I was with my ex for over 7 years....We were engaged to be married, lived together, the whole 9 yards, but were still immature, so we broke up. This was May 2009

 

The first 6 months, I was a total jerk... I would blow up her phone, call her mean names....I was hurt and wanted to work things out and she wanted her space, and I just reacted in the worst way possible.

 

Then she changed her #...that forced me to grow up and realize that I was flawed and everything happens for a reason.

 

Not 2 months after she changed her # and I was not giving her any attention, she started to "act out." I co-signed for a couple bills, and she quit paying on in December, and I had to call her out in a public place, then she agreed to pay and sent me an email the next day telling me how sorry she was and was having a hard time with it, and gained weight (still beautiful in my eyes)...I said no big deal, just pay from now on.

 

In March, she was driving around the lease that was in my name with no insurance and was 20 days late on the car payment, and late with the credit card that she was late on in December. I saw her at a bar and when I asked to talk to her in private, she was wasted and told me how I was her "one" and she messed up a ton and wanted to be friends.....I said the same and then she started lying about paying the bills and then told me being friends wouldn't work... (I had her phone # again)...I took it fine and wished her luck..

 

Then in May, she quit paying on her car all together and was really hurting my credit. I had to tow the car, sell the car, lose $4,000, and 100 points on my credit score.....When I took the car, she claimed she didn't know it was late..but there was the late fee for that month in the backseat, as well as many other unpaid bills that were only in her name.

 

 

Problem is, I love the girl still!!!!!! She is a train wreck and just hurts me and here I am contemplating telling her how I feel. I've been very civil throughout this whole fiasco, which is a nice change of pace for me but the problem is, I think I am the only one who has grown up since the breakup, because before I would just blow up 24-7. Should I tell her how I feel or is this a case where she needs to grow up and come back on her own?

[metrogirl]

Trainwreck is right and why would you want her back? She' doesn't seem to concerned with wanting to grow up and do the right thing.

 

Grown ups pay their bills and act responsibly, neither of which she is doing.

[confusedadult]

I know...but at the same time, there is nothing she can do to really, really push me away.... I almost wish there was.....