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Mixed mood


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Ok, so it's been two weeks since I wrote here last time.


It's been a lot better since then. I have strange feeling that our mutual friends are trying to get info about me, what I'm doing etc. I just isolated myself from our classmates, so very little people now know anything about me.


Yet some people still come to me and ask me how am I feeling about my ex. I just laugh and say that I don't know which of my exs they mean. But sometimes I feel horribly. Someone told me, that my ex doesn't want to go to trip to Norway only because of me, my person. I don't know why, she's back with her ex, so why bother about me?


Also I hear all the time from my friends that they're going to France for 3 weeks together. Fine.


And I started going out with one girl I know for some time only to find out that it's co-worker of my ex. This girl told my ex that she knows me and my ex started to tell her how the ex she's with now is awesome, perfect husband material, that she wants to marry him and that he's ideal for future...that happened week ago.


Yeah, she told me the same about him. It lasted month before she told me that she's not happy with him and then got back to me. Now, she talks like that about him again. There is one good thing though. She stopped mocking me and stopped having commentaries about me. It seems like she's not provocating me anymore since last week.


I have many questions in my head...will she really marry him? Did she told all these things to my friend because she knows I'm going out with her?

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I'm not entirely isolating, I'm just spending time with people my ex doesn't know or know very less. I guess I should stick to NC, right? I just tend to have hope, because of the numerous break-ups with her and the fact that she already did this once.


Really, the can't marry each other and stand with each other if they broke forlike 7 times already, right?

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8th time's the charm. I wouldn't talk to her unless she was literally begging at that point, though.


I don't know why he took her back. She must promised him she will eventually marry him. I took her back once, almost four months ago. Read my thread, it's all in there.

Now I'm still struggling with urge to text her something or give her flowers she always wanted me to give her. I'm still in NC, I'm not even eye-contacting her when we meet at school hall. But she acts differently every week, at first she had jealous commentaries, now she's how I loved her: that when I'm talking in our group of classmates, she's listening and doesn't have any commentaries.


I'm trying to get my chances from previous experiences with her and result is: I don't know.

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