Meeting people, travel, dealing with depression

[helko]

Hi everyone

 

again as with all my posts I'm not sure where to put this it fits in so many places

 

for some time I've enjoyed travelling and thought of it as a great way to meet new people. I've been around the world met tons of people and usually had a great time. I also suffer from depression and as it has become worse I've found it way more difficult to meet people generally. As a result I've worked out pretty quickly that travelling is only fun whe you have someone to share it with

 

as I write this I'm sitting in a hostel in Mexico city. I've spent 2 days walking around this place by myself and generally being quite bored. I've introduced myself to tons of people atthis hostel and for some reason nothing is really coming of it. Meanwhile all my friends and family think I'm off on some great adventure and living it up... That couldn't be further from the truth. I have almost decided I'm done with travelling by myself, which is sad because it's something I used to enjoy. But in the meantime I have another week to kill or try to salvage something put of

 

I think mentally I hit rock bottom last night when this german guy and his Mexican girlfriend started having sex in my room... Somethig I've never even come close to in 25 years and this dude is just whipping it out like he doesn't give a sht.

 

I don't want to sound spoiled. As I look around this city I see millions of people who probably aren't as smart as me, don't have a high paying job like me etc... But they are happy... Which is what I want out of life more than anything else right now.

[Nomadic Intent]

Helko, i feel you on this. I really do. I too am i traveller, hence my nickname. I travel for both work and leisure. ANd family and friends are under the impression i'm living the life when reality is, i do miss coming home to somebody, instead of the endless apartments/hotel rooms that has been my life going three years now. As of writing this i am still currently alone.

 

The thing is though, u mentioned u used to be able to make friends whilst abroad, but its stopped all of a sudden. Do u know of any reason it has?

 

I ask this because i've stayed in many a hostel, and never had a problem with making friends, both male and female. I'm a little older than you but i'm sure it shouldn't make a difference. But whenever i stayed in public quarters i had always made friends, and even a few non-serious romances out of them.

 

Has your attitude changed? You did mentioned u felt u hit rock bottom the other night... and that you suffer from depression... that could change the way people perceive you without even knowing yourself that you're putting out that aura.

 

And you're in mexico man. Live it up!

[sent_adrift]

I can sympathize with your problem, for me although even when travelling with someone, it still isn't enjoyable. I spent 5 weeks in Europe last summer with my cousin, and I was still miserable most of the time. It had nothing to do with my cousin specifically, and I'm sure I made the time less enjoyable for him as well.

 

Like you, everyone thought I must have been having the time of my life (they still do when I tell them that I spent that time in Europe), and I almost feel like it was a waste of time. It feels even worse knowing that it should be enjoyable, and the opposite is true.

 

It sounds like your depression is relationship related, which is the case for me. Assuming that it's something you'd be comfortable with, I would seek counselling when you get back home. I wasn't able to find something that helped me, but I don't think there is much in the way of a relationship solution for me. You may have better luck.

 

Try to enjoy the rest of your time travelling, although I understand that's easier said than done.

[lkm370]

i can totally relate, ive been traveling for almost 3 months now in europe, and i see it all the time also, i see so many couples everywhere, people in my hostel going out for the night and getting laid like its no big deal, i share a room with 6 people and all i did last night was sit alone in my room, staring at the walls, the whole hostel was empty after 11 as everyone went out to party and i just sat in there like a loser.

[biddo]

Hi everyone

 

...................I don't want to sound spoiled. As I look around this city I see millions of people who probably aren't as smart as me, don't have a high paying job like me etc... But they are happy... Which is what I want out of life more than anything else right now.

 

 

that line pretty much says is all you dont want to sound spoilt but you are/ do.

 

It's not so much is the german guy having sex thats bothering you its the fact that, you are travelling alone that is.

 

Believe me when I went to poland for 3 days in 2008 by myself it was quit boring as well until---------I realised I just have to enjoy the moment so to speak. After it is an adventure you set out to do and an adventure so u shall have.... but dont take any un warranted risks mexico can be a dangerous place from what I heard. And by adventure I mean meeting new people make new friends etc.

[biddo]

for the record I had a great time.

[helko]

Well I suppose a day makes a difference. Today i went on a tour put on by the hostel. Watched Mexico v england in a bar here with some Danish blokes and then went to some kind of photo expo with the German dude and his girlfriend. I felt like a complete moron because I was the only person who didn't speak fluent Spanish but whatever.

 

I'm still depressed, I'm still not really with it and still feel incredibly lonely but at least I didn't waste another day