What do I do????

[Enforcer]

My girlfriend and I have been going out for about a year and 3 months now and sexually I feel a bit frustrated. Sexually the farthest she ever wants to go is merely dry sex and then a handjob. Now at first this felt good but eventually she was getting more out of the dry sex than i was and when it came time for her to give me a handjob it took me forever to go(Perhaps its way she does it??). As for oral sex she believes that it is considered sex, and we both agreed not to have sex until marriage. Now marriage aint coming around any time soon and I dont believe Oral sex to be the same as regular intercourse(thats What i agreed to wait for). So to try to be understanding and respectful i told her that if she considers it part of sex then we would wait but sexually it is really frustrating me. I want to know is there anything i can do to ease her mind about oral sex, i mean im understanding but im feeling really empty sexually right now.

[sprkal]

you need to work out how strongly you feel for your girlfriend. From this perspective, it would seem that your relationship has become very sexually orientated. This isnt healthy for a strong relationship.

 

It sounds to me as though your girlfriend is happy as she is, and doesn't want you to be pressuring her into any more sexual activity than she is ready for. She will resent it greatly if you are pushy with this, but on the other hand, it is good to communicate your feelings truthfully in realtionships.

 

Oral sex and intercourse are technically not the same, but some people do view them as 'sex'. I commend your girlfriend for being strong minded, and standing up for what she wants. I hope you dont pressure her into it. If she wants to go further with you, then she will of her own accord.

 

Perhaps you should talk to her about what you feel that you need, and if you dont see eye to eye, then maybe you and she are not right for each other.

[SweetGemini]

i agree with sprkle...

 

also, having your *beep* in her mouth or *beep* is considered sex hence the term oral SEX...

 

i would also like to congratulate you for all your patience, you must really love her, she must be very special, you must be proud of her. She has morals and stands by them, there are not many people out there like that. Your very lucky! What's better? 20min of pleasure or a lifetime with someone as special as your girlfriend... The sex would come when she is ready...

[wendella]

I must say all you girls are great, I really have not seen so many women who respect themselves and have thier heads on straight IRL. Way to go!

 

to enforcer - I totally understand your frustration, but take a minute to think what your motive with her are and reasses what you want from her and with her....

 

and check out the post that is titled "is she playing hard to get, do women ever open up?"

[jestersupriem]

Enforcer, the best thing todo is to stop all sexual contact. At least than the frustration would be only in one hand. Yours.

 

Seriously though, the only advice I can tell you is to stay away from sexual contact in any form. Kiss with passion but remiss from play.

 

Her desire for you will grow. Don't complain or even mention the words sex anymore. Straight and narrow you will go. Not for celibacy but for the land of milk and honey.

 

Men are simple, woman are complex but all have the same emotions. Drive her emotions with strength, respect and pride of being a man.

 

Dogs are for dogs. Men are for Woman.

 

 

 

Jester

[Enforcer]

I guess your right, in a way when i reflect it i feel kind of stupid for even bringing the topic up because I love her very much and I know that when she's ready she will open up more. It is because I love her so much that I am willing to wait. Thank you all for your help and jester your idea sounds like something i could do one day as a little joke(because it has been done to me )