She called again

[CuZiNeeDYoU]

So she actually called me tonight... I dont really know what her motives were. At first she told me it was because tonight was a special night at the club and that she wishes things were different because i would have enjoyed it. When i told her she shouldnt have called she said she wad sorry an that she wouldnt call again.... So that made me fold again and i spoke a bit about why i couldnt be her friend when i know wr could have more. So in the end she had to go so she said she would call me soon.....i then texted her saying i couldnt deal with this especially knowing that things could work out and that shr shouldnt call me back.... Once again i dont knoe if i did the right thing and whether i will heat from her again

[Cuppedia]

If you had already told her why you couldn't be in touch then there was no need to repeat it and there's no need to say anything else.

 

Go back to doing NC and don't reply to anything trying to make her change her mind, I'm sure she knows the situation.

[Brownstone322]

... and i spoke a bit about why i couldnt be her friend when i know we could have more.

 

...

 

i then texted her saying i couldnt deal with this especially knowing that things could work out ...

When are you going to stop doing this? You've told her the same thing over and over. Do you really think it's doing you any good?

 

Every time you give her the "we could have more" line, you come accross as whiney and needy, which is pathetically unattractive. What's worse, you ensure that she continues to control all of the "relationship power" while you control none. Just once -- and, yeah, she'll call again -- you need to be "politely aloof." Not rude, but not especially interested either.

 

For god's sake, man, how you still fail to see the need for a change of policy is beyond me.

[CuZiNeeDYoU]

When are you going to stop doing this? You've told her the same thing over and over. Do you really think it's doing you any good?

 

Every time you give her the "we could have more" line, you come accross as whiney and needy, which is pathetically unattractive. What's worse, you ensure that she continues to control all of the "relationship power" while you control none. Just once -- and, yeah, she'll call again -- you need to be "politely aloof." Not rude, but not especially interested either.

 

For god's sake, man, how you still fail to see the need for a change of policy is beyond me.

 

That's what im gonna start doing because she finally gave me an indication that she would be possibly interested if we just let things be and concentrate on having a good time instead of always getting into heavy conversation about us.... She doesnt give herself away easily so you sorta have to see through what she's saying but she clearly told me Im not seeing anyone else im not interested in meeting anyone else... just take it easy and stop panicking so much..... So thats what ill try to do lol...

[iBroken]

Dang - Wanted to rep you brownstone but I did before so I gotta spread the love elsewhere first. Your post is bang on

 

Cuz. I get that ena is some kind of support system but really, you keep posting the same thing over and over again and I guess you are waiting for us to post or feel differently about your situation?

 

Stop talking to this selfish girl. Every time you speak to her, you set yourself back and prevent your own healing.

 

You are waaaaaaay to needy for her. Maybe that's why she doesn't see an R with you. Let her go, focus on yourself and prove that you can stand on your own two feet without her!!!!!

 

Then, maybe one day things will be better. But as long as you are desperate and clingy, nothing is going to change.

 

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results"