tired of being so lonely

[onthebound]

i just don't know what to do with myself most days. i just feel so sad.. and usually the times it's the worst are when there's no one to talk to about it. i have some pretty great friends overall, but i feel like i burden them too much sometimes. like there's always something going on with me. i just want a shoulder to actually cry on, somebody who knows me to tell me i'm not some terrible, unlovable person and it's going to be okay.

 

i want to find love, or for love to find me. i keep messaging people on dating sites and totally striking out. the only people who message me are ones i don't really have any interest in. and seeing as i'm mostly gay and don't live in a very gay area, it's not like i can just meet people wherever.

 

i don't know what to do. i'm tired of feeling like this and i can't seem to shake it.

[JusticeLaw9]

Trust me, there's a lot of folks out there in that same boat. Good love is hard to come by. For once, I'd like to at least come accross somebody that isn't scarred, psycho or unavailable. It seems like it's impossible to find at times and some days I really get frustrated with it.

[volvic]

Hey hang in there.

Sometimes it gets really tough being alone. A great way to meet someone is by joining a class or club outside of work or school. Try martial arts or improv, or something. I would have done that but I have been really struggling with my classes this semester and I had to stop (mom is ill Feeling lonely, but know that I am going to get back up and try again. I just finished my last final today so I'll try joining another activity soon. That's the best way to meet people I think. Its a lot easier to get to know someone when you are doing an activity together. Martial arts workouts or dance workouts are difficult and everyone kind of bonds while they go through it together. If one doesn't work out then keep searching. A lot of people feel doubt when they are alone too long, don't worry you are a good person. You say you are not interested in the ones who message you, I mean if you don't feel attracted then you don't. You don't really know those people to begin with anyway. In a club or class you can really get to know people and they may be people you would not have had any inclination towards if you had not known them personally. Of course you may meet someone you would totally have been interested in. It is hard for you being in area where you are in the minority. But I would still recommend you try. Improv is really fun and I have met many gay men in that area. I am a girl and heterosexual so they were just good friends. It is sad for me, my roommate's coworker was really hot but gay, some of the cutest men are unavailable!

Also, if you get involved in something new you will be busier and the more busy you are the easier it is to cope with loneliness (at least in my experience). Also the more you do the more independent and self reliant you become. People are attracted to that and you will learn that you don't need to rely on others so much to feel good. Other people find that sort of strength attractive. Then I think the relationship is healthier anyway. Feel better soon! Humans are social animals, we need other people. It hurts a lot when we are alone.

[onthebound]

Trust me, there's a lot of folks out there in that same boat. Good love is hard to come by. For once, I'd like to at least come accross somebody that isn't scarred, psycho or unavailable. It seems like it's impossible to find at times and some days I really get frustrated with it.

 

i'm actually not too far from dc. if i were interested in men at the moment, i'd probably be hitting on you, LOL.

 

i know you replied on my last post too. i appreciate that you understand what i'm goin through. i'm in the same boat you are. anyone that does come my way seems damaged somehow, like in ways i'm not willing to take on, or otherwise incompatible with me. they're too angsty, too naive, too far, always too something. i'm over it. where the #*&% is the right girl?

[volvic]

oops, i just realized you are a girl. I've met gay women in improv too. Same applies. Hope everything is good.

[onthebound]

i agree with you, and i'm trying. just kindof a complex situation i'm in at the moment. hard for me to get around. but i am joining the pride committee soon, so hopefully that will help.