can you love someone and still worry about cheating?

[QTpie87]

okay...

 

so i feel pretty aweful about this because i do really love him and i do trust him most of the time, i have no reason not to, but i have just been wronged by men so many times, all of them! i mean yea i have only had one really serious bf before Luke,now, but the one before him always said how against cheating he was and he did it to me anyway, and all the other men in my life have hit me and hurt me, the only two men that haven hurt me that i have been around for any good amout of time are my papa and uncle. And know Luke.

 

well even my dad know is starting to hurt me, yesterday he punched me in the face and chipped my tooth and i got stabbed in the hand with my nail thingy and it hit my vain. well i don't wanna get to into that cause it isn't my question.

 

So any who, my question is can i really love luke and still have that trust issue. because i know i do, but i know some would say i don't, and i feel bad that i feel like that sometimes, buecause i love him and him personally has never given me any reason to not trust him. Its only the others.

well if anyone here understands what im really asking and can give me their opinion i would be greatful.

 

thankyou,

love Qtpie87

[DopeStar]

I understand, thats how it was with my ex, I loved that girl to death but i could not get rid of that naggin feeling for almost three years, it started when i move away and we did the LDR thing for a year. It turns out in the end that feeling was true she had been cheating on me for 3 years. I hate to say it but if your gut tells you something you should look into it more. there is a real good chance its not lying to you. also if you have this feeling it means that there is something wrong with the relationship that is causing these trust issues. You need to talk to him and be honest and direct, if there is something going on, he will probly skirt the issue and move on. you need to bring it up though or you will never feel better, just watch his reation to the question and don't attack him with it. Express what your feeling and then tell him that you can't get rid of this feeling that he cheating because of the way he has been acting, not that you dont trust him but he actions show you differentlyand you need to know the truth. He will tell you NO whether he is or not, more then likely but ask and watch his reaction.

[vitalcoaching]

Hi,

 

Sure you can ,love him and still be afraid of him cheating, specially if you had bad experiences in the past.

 

Tust taakes a while to be built between two persons. It does not happene overnight. It is a progressive investment of your being with someone and usually it is better to take small steps, rather than giving everything at once.

 

When you see yourself doubting, if it is simply an irrational fear, you tell yourself things like: "hey, there is no reason to think that way, so stop worrying..."

 

Trusting someone is a skill you can learn and let grow. You can strengthn it and empower it in you.

 

Good luck and stay in touch

 

vitalcoach

[JohnOO8]

If you aren't cheating on your partner...chances are they are cheating on you

[DaXMan]

If you aren't cheating on your partner...chances are they are cheating on you

 

If that were true, all relationships would end.

 

I honestly don't know exactly what to do here, but if I were you, I'd see how things are with my partner. If you guys are having a great relationship, keep it going and when you guys spend mre time together, the other guy may be forgotten (almost). Don't throw aaway a strong relationship for something that appears to be good.

[OceanEyes]

well even my dad know is starting to hurt me, yesterday he punched me in the face and chipped my tooth and i got stabbed in the hand with my nail thingy and it hit my vain. well i don't wanna get to into that cause it isn't my question.

 

It probably should be. If you're being abused at home, and have always lived in a family that has hurt you (you mentioned only 2 men who have never hurt you in some way), then obviously you're going to seek out what is comfortable behaviour for you, even if you're not totally consciously aware of it. You probably aren't even aware that you don't even feel like you deserve to be treated better, because you're so used to getting treated like garbage. You probably won't believe me when I tell you, but you really do deserve better.

 

It doesn't list this in your profile, but how old are you? You should not be getting punched in the face and stabbed at home. Is there someone or somewhere else you can turn for some advice in your own family about this?

 

My guess is that you are attaching yourself to men who treat you like crap in the hopes that they might 'save you' from the madness at home; either by just being there for you or by taking you out of it physically. The problem with this is that when we're hurting, we tend to be much more vulnerable, which is breeding grounds for other abusive, selfish men to take advantage of a fragile state. You may not even be aware of it. You should probably talk to your uncle or your papa, someone you trust and respect about the abuse at home. Reach out for help from family, not men who will only cause you more pain and confusion.