Am I wrong for feeling upset?

[Computer Geek]

Hello all,

 

Recently a friend of mine has been going through some troubled times. I don't know what it is exactly, and therein lies one of my issues. A few weeks ago she seemed sad about something, and when I asked what was up she said "long story, don't worry about it". So I left it at that. The next day she asked if I would go to Church with her. This was a very strange request since I had never known her to ever go to Church in her life and also because I am not exactly known to be going to Church. I asked if everything was alright, but she said she doesn't know how to explain it, she is just sad. Unfortunately I could not go that night as I didn't know what reason she wanted to go and I had prior commitments.

 

Knowing something was up I asked a mutual friend if he knew anything about what she is going through. He didn't know, and must have asked her later since she messaged me and said "I know you asked so-and-so about me, don't worry, I'll be fine".

 

This irks me. She trusts me enough to ask me to go to Church with her (something really out of the blue), but not enough to talk about what is going on? She did something very similar before as well, where she was upset about something so we met and talked but never talked about what was bothering her. In fact, that time at the end she said "By the way, that thing that was bothering me doesn't bother me anymore, I'm good".

 

I'm getting this feeling like she is a very personal person (nothing wrong with that), and doesn't like to talk about those things with others, but sees opportunity to use those situations to spend some time with me.

 

So twofold:

1) I feel upset that she would trust me enough to ask me to join her at Church but not enough to actually talk about what's wrong.

2) I feel like she uses these situations to spend time with me, which is quite disrespectful.

 

Am I wrong for feeling like this?

[-Sanguine-]

Are you two really close friends?

 

Just a thought.

Maybe something is bothering her and she doesn't want to talk about it - that's her choice and right. But maybe she just feels better to be in the presence of a friend?

I mean you said she was upset before and you talked to her but not abot her problem, but then she felt better. Maybe she just likes to have some company when she's upset.

 

To be honest, I don't know why you are upset. I mean, yes, if you two are great friends who tell eachother everything and suddenly she has stopped telling you things, then I would see why you might be a bit upset.

 

But from what you wrote, it doesn't sound like that is the case. I could be wrong though.

But technically, she has a right to deal with her problems any way that works for her. I don't think it is an issue of trusting you or not, because I'm sure she does.

[Computer Geek]

I think you're right. I think my frustration is with the fact that she is interested in me, but she somehow manages to disappoint me in my attempts to setup a date so I have her in the friend category. But then, there are times where it's almost ridiculous how she will find an excuse to spend time with me and flirt.

 

It's just so confusing! I guess I misinterpreted this situation as just another attempt by her to confuse the heck out of me and it's beginning to wear on my nerves.