What To Say??

[sweetlove]

What do u say to a guy?? I am just stuck. i mean i say the usuall, what was your day like? what are you doing today?? whats new with you? But i mean what else do you say i like this guy but i dont know how to keep the conversation moving.

 

any suggestions?

 

Maxi

[Spirits Away]

Actually i do...

 

You can introduce something about your life where you have problems with and he can interpret and solve it for you... that way you guys can understand each other better with interactions to differing opinions

 

You might want to pick up some things he says out of the blue that you KNOW interests him... For example he might talk about... say computers... i mean to be able to talk about computers with him, you'll need to know something about it. But watch out for one thing... and that is if he mentions something about say computer... don't just blab out shallow things that you know about computers... but do have a true concern over the topic... and don't say stuff like "i always wanted to learn about computers" or any vague, general question/statement.

 

Also, I feel good when a friend truly understands what i'm saying and expands in the informations my friend gathered from what i say

 

I'm not good conversationalist to tell you the truth, i pause a lot during conversations and that really gets to me. But because i have this disabilities i always see trends and analyze conversations and see what components there are that makes a conversation interesting and those are some that i picked up... there are more obviously like become enthusiastic about what you talk about and stuff... but those really depend on mood so i'm not going to go there, but for the above two tips, you don't need to be in a particular state or change yourself to improve so i think those are good *practical* suggestions

[ydubel]

First, let me tell you this. In general, people like talking to people who make them feel special.

 

Second, learn to be comfortable with silence or take the silence as a cue to end the conversation.

 

I happen to one of those folks people always want at their dinner party because I guess people find me interesting, but more importantly they respond well to the fact that I treat them as if they are interesting.

 

As a writer I love hearing people's stories, as long as I can select the time and frequency ;-)

 

So first, use conversation as a way to learn more about him then discuss current events. The purpose of conversing is to advance some kind of relationship so using it to learn more about each other makes sense. What's his favorite childhood memory? What's his relationship to his parents like? These are questions that will tell you more about who he really is and can also show more of who you really are.

 

Now about silence as a cue....why do you feel the burden of keeping the conversation going is on you? If it gets quiet and you have nothing to say, end the conversation. If he wants to talk to you he'll make the effort and if he doesn't he probably wasn't that interested anyway.

 

Though I am not saying this guy is a waste of time I leave you with this....

The sooner you learn to spot relationship time wasters the better. Believe me it will save you alot of heartache in the future.

 

Be well.

Y. Dubel