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Is it love or am I just wishing..?

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So here's how it's going for me. I've been with this girl for almost 6 months, which has been my longest running, real relationship. O ya and we're both in high school, I'm 16 and she's 17.


I knew for sure around the 3 month mark that I really loved her. She just seemed like the kind of person that could make everything right for me, and that's how I always felt around her... right.


I've only told her a couple times that I love her because she believes in action a lot more than words and also... she has never said it back. I don't want to ask her about it because it might just start an awkwardness between us like the first time I said it. But that was 3 months ago.


And although she has never reciprocated my words, I don't feel that bad because like I said, she does everything right when we're together. I put my arms around her and she pulls them around her tighter; I hold her hand and she grabs the other one too; the list goes on...


But I just want to know how she really feels about us also because somedays it seems like our relationship is just take it or leave it to her. Whenever days like these happen, I just write it off as a side effect of her stressful life and other things like that.


Also, I was thinking about breaking up with her for the summer, with the intent of us getting back together next school year. I was wondering if you guys could help figure out how to phrase this when I talk to her about it...

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  • 2 weeks later...

Just because she hasn't said those three special words, it doesn't mean she won't in the future! It's often very hard to say those words, as simple as they may be. I have a good friend who has had several boyfriends but only said "I love you," to one of them. Her parents are divorced and she's afraid to make any sort of commitment like that until she is sure about her feelings. This could be the same for your girlfriend...so I don't think it's that much of an issue that she hasn't said it yet. If you come back in a year from now and she still hasn't said it...then I might say something different.


What I really don't understand is this...you say you love her and you've told her that you love her. If you have such strong feelings for her, then why in the world would you want to break up for the summer?!?! Usually the reason people do that is so they won't be "tied down" while they are vacationing, meaning they can "hook up" with people you've known for half a day...but if you wanted that then you really do not love her as much as you want her and yourself (and us) to believe.


What exactly are you hoping this summer break-up will accomplish, other than a lot of unnecessary heartache and drama?

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You're both in high school and not even 18 yet. While I do think obviously people can love that early take it for what it is, puppy love. People change so much from 18-24 it's ridiculous.


Don't get caught up in needing her to say those words because honestly at that age it doesn't mean much.

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I don't understand why you would break up with her for no reason just to get back together 3 months later?


But don't worry too much about the love thing, she is probably just not ready yet which is entirely understandable. As others have said, just because she doesn't love you now doesn't mean she won't in the future, 6 months is not very long (though it does seem long when you're in high school), give the girl some time!


I was also 16 when I started dating and fell in love with my current boyfriend. 4 years later, I know now that what I felt at 16 for him is very different from how I feel about him now. Feelings change over time, they may deepen and strengthen or maybe you realize it wasn't true love but try not to place too much emphasis on whether or not she loves you.

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