Meeting the Ex, Need advices!

[neverlost]

So, I'm leaving in a week to work in the US, and my ex-gf will go back to her country in about a month or so. We broke-up and I went NC 3 month ago. She immediately went into rebound and still is with him.

 

Break-up was pretty messy with me begging and pleading. It's pretty much a case of GIGS, she never told me she didn't love me prior to getting into rebound.

 

One month after going NC she started to randomly contact me, wanting to meet with me, to which I never agreed (said maybe, didn't actually recontacted her for date/time).

 

Now I feel it would be the last time we would see eachother, so I texted her that if she still wanted to meet, I would agree.

 

She recontacted me yesterday and we agreed on meeting over the week-end. Also she added me back on IM.

 

Any suggestions on how to handle this ? I'm getting pretty anxious. I do think she still cares for me a lot and that her rebound isn't turning out that great, but she is a foreigner and she lives with him and can't find another place to live.

 

Any advice would help me tremendously.

 

Thanks, people!

[AJEDrew7]

I understand that the two of you are getting together...but what is the purpose of the get together? What are your intentions? The way I'm taking it is that this is a sort of final closure for at least you or maybe to see if maybe there's one final spark?

[neverlost]

I understand that the two of you are getting together...but what is the purpose of the get together? What are your intentions? The way I'm taking it is that this is a sort of final closure for at least you or maybe to see if maybe there's one final spark?

 

I'm not really sure at this point. It really may be closure, but also it may give her the incentive to think twice about me.

 

We were together for 2 years, partly Long-distance, and she loved me very much, even maybe a bit too much. I made her come to the city I'm living in and it was a difficult period for me, I couldn't find work adn was pretty depressed. I think that made her decide to end it.

 

Now, it's much better. I found a well-paid job in the US, I feel much better about myself. So, to be honest I just want to show her that i'm doing fine without her, and that it's her loss, not mine.

 

I think the rebound was there because he was everything I wasn't at the time, but she got trapped into it because she moved out from my place and pretty much moved in with him instantly.

 

As I initiated NC they seemed to fight a lot, and since she's very active on the internet and write everyday, I think she's overdoing it, saying "I'm in love" and then seemingly breaking-up with him 2 days later. Things like that.

 

I can't be 100% sure, but I really think she has feelings for me, just she internalized it a lot, since she messed up with me so much. And it's like she's trapped : She is lucky to be in one of the most beautiful cities in the world, weather has been great at times lately, and she spend her days on the internet, *literally*.

 

Here's for some background.

 

I really wonder how to handle this. Should I bring up the relationship ? I'm keeping in mind here that it's probably the last time i'll see her, not to raise expectations, but we never fully discussed the reasons for the breakup.

 

Any advice ?

[AJEDrew7]

I would go into it with an open mind. Don't try and force the relationship talk with her, but I do think it's probably something that needs to be brought up at some point. Just try and keep a normal flow of conversation going about her and how she's doing and you and how you're doing and I'm sure you'll get to the why things happened the way they did talk eventually. Try and avoid talking about her current rebound however...it'll just make you look jealous talking about the guy that she's with now. I'm sure that's isn't something you particularly want to talk about anyways. I think you can go into this to get closure and at the same time you can be friendly and the you that your ex dated and liked and see what comes of it (like you said). She may make it apparent to you that she does still have feelings and that maybe it was a mistake. Don't try and force that part though. I think the best way would just be to go into it friendly and just hope for the best. Let her know that you're doing well.

[neverlost]

Well, to keep you updated, problem solved. She was a no-show. She called me half and hour before to tell me it was raining and that she wouldn't make it. I'm starting to think that she is clinically disturbed and there's nothing I can do about it.

 

I decided not to have anything to do with her anymore, and I start to feel very sorry for her, she's broken and damaged. Better leave her alone.

 

How can people behave like that ?