How to slow things down or break off the dating?

[jakestryder]

So I've been dating someone for about 3 weeks now. She's a friend I've had for a while, and I knew she liked me for a very long time. I decided to give it a try, and our first date was incredible and I thought it would really go somewhere, but now really don't think it is. I've been giving it a lot of thought and I'm just not feeling all that into her and I don't think it's right to lead her on. I don't have any idea what or how to say this to her though. She's going to take it like a breakup, I'm certain, and we have a lot of mutual friends that I worry will hate me, but I have to be honest with myself and her. It's been over a year since my last relationship, but maybe I'm still not emotionally available? I don't know. This sucks.

 

Advice?

[Citlali]

Well, being emotionally unavailable is different than just not liking or being into her specifically. You have to figure out which one it is before you decide what to say. If it is the former, just tell her that and that you need more time to work on yourself. Tell her you want to be friends for now. If it is the latter, then you need to just tell her that you don't think you're right for her as a romantic partner and that you'd rather conserve her friendship. Be honest but not rude about it.

 

First, you have to figure out which one it is. If you really liked the first date, think about why and what has made that change.