he broke NC and I'm freaking out

[confused.p]

Ok so I haven't talked to him for about 3 weeks. My phone died yesterday and after I charged it today I had a voicemail from him. He sounded kind of nervous, said he knew it had been awhile since we talked but he wanted to see what I was up to, and to call if I wanted to talk. I erased the voicemail so I wouldn't be tempted to obsess over his phrasing... then he called again and I answered. Then I agreed to meet up later and talk. I don't know what I'm getting myself into. I was not expecting this, and I feel like I'm gonna end up making a mistake... just not sure what that mistake will be.

 

He said he would call later and we'd meet up and frankly, considering the disappearing act he pulled 3 weeks ago( basically we wanted different things and I should have been the one to end it but instead he ended it by just not calling me back) I'm really expecting him to flake out again. I guess he started to miss me, or he wouldn't have called, and obviously I've missed him, and I really want to talk just to get everything straightened out. We never really had a talk that gave me closure, so I want that.

 

Would it be a mistake to meet up? Did I make a mistake by answering the phone? He said he'd tried calling a few times and couldn't get through and I told him my phone was dead, and I was so taken aback by the whole thing I agreed to meet up without thinking about it.. now I'm thinking maybe I should have pretended to have plans tonight so I don't seem too available. But that's just game playing and I don't do that, really. AAARRRHHGGHGGHH my heart's beating like crazy I'm freaking out I wish I hadn't answered the phone now the ball is in his court AGAIN what have I done someone help me please!!! lol so confused.

[britomart]

I personally think closure is important. But...you probably shouldn't meet if you don't think you can handle bad news.

 

I don't think it was wrong for you to answer the phone. Take the time to consider whether meeting him is what you really want, regardless of the outcome.

[confused.p]

At this point if there's bad news I feel like at least I'll know where we both stand and then I can start to really heal. I've been feeling terrible for 3 weeks b/c we didn't talk about anything, we just stopped talking. So either way, even if he wants to see me to tell me it's really over and to move on, it will almost be a relief. And if he doesn't want it to be over, it probably should be anyway and I'll suggest we just stay friendly and keep in touch. We live in a fairly small town so we'll run into each other inevitably and I don't believe in making enemies in a small town. lol. I'm just nervous b/c I feel like I can't count on anything anymore and I'll be really upset if he decides not to call back later. It's a little too soon for this but it has to happen eventually I just don't want to say the wrong thing.

[abigheart]

Would it be a mistake to meet up? Did I make a mistake by answering the phone? He said he'd tried calling a few times and couldn't get through and I told him my phone was dead, and I was so taken aback by the whole thing I agreed to meet up without thinking about it.. now I'm thinking maybe I should have pretended to have plans tonight so I don't seem too available. But that's just game playing and I don't do that, really. AAARRRHHGGHGGHH my heart's beating like crazy I'm freaking out I wish I hadn't answered the phone now the ball is in his court AGAIN what have I done someone help me please!!! lol so confused.

 

I don't think it's a mistake to meet up. If you don't and fake plans, it's just gonna keep eating away inside. So personally if I were in your shoes, I would want to voice whatever I feel I was unable to say when the break-up initially occurred AND hear whatever he has to say whether it's good or bad. At least it will give you a clear mind and help you to officially move on without any other lingering questions or thoughts.

 

Don't regret anything, don't regret that you picked up the phone. Just see what happens, but look if he doesn't end up calling you back later, don't let it bother you so much. Just shows that next time around, you really don't need to give this guy the time of day. But don't worry about that yet.