he is so busy now

[newsinglegal]

so i met my LDR boyfriend back in oct. I was not interested in a relationship with anyone, especially an LDR! he literally swept me off my feet, jumped through hoops to win me over (flowers, frequent visits, etc). after we became official in dec, it only lasted a month before things changed. he had recently started a new job, and he now tells me he did not know his new job was going to require so much of his energy, time and attention. i feel a bit jipped because when i met him he had all the time in the world for me (emails, calls, text, etc). now we hardly talk at all. he is always busy with work, or tired. should i take this personally? even worse, when we see eachother, the duration gets shorter and shorter (usually its every three weeks for a weekend) he is now trying to shave off hours from the day or entire days from our visits. i am really hurt bec now that he got my attention and in this relationship, now he hardly tries anymore to make time. i am trying to be understanding of his work, but i think if he cared enough he would try harder. am i being unreasonable?

[onewithbooks]

I don't know that unreasonable is the right word, but I think unfair is better. Yes he did have a different lifestyle when you started dating, but that is changed now. You cant expect him to be able to keep up that kind of wooing if he has a more demanding job.

 

I can understand where you are coming from. I have been there. I think its a bit unfair for you to say that if he cared enough he would try harder. When you start a new job, you are the low man on the totem pole and you do have to prove yourself. That is what he is doing now.

 

I understand what its like to have a bf with a demanding career. I know that for me there came a time when I had to make a decision. I could choose to cut it off and not have him at all, or make the best of the time I had and make each minute precious. I chose the latter.

 

You talk about how he hardly tries to make time, is he always coming to see you? What about you going to see him? You talk about what he is not doing for the relationship, but what are you doing to make up for this new restricted schedule? I am not trying to pick on you, I am just curious.

[newsinglegal]

he comes to see me less, and when he does, it is for less time. i offer to go there, but we have been arguing now alot since his "new demands" and now hed rather just focus more on work instead of trying to please me...he feels like he was doing enough though...

[newsinglegal]

could it be he is cheating or just not interested, or both