She says we wont be getting back together. Does she mean it?

[John1]

Hello

Ive written a long post before about getting back with my ex who is been resistant. Today I was lucky to see her in the street.. Now I walked with her for a while. While we were walking we asked each other how we were doing, what we were upto etc... We were passing on news to each other or gossip.,

 

I asked her would she like to go to the funfair with me next week. We always had a great time at the funfair when we were together. she said she didnt have the money for it, I said I have the money. I have been doing a lot of overtime lately..

She said no its ok, I asked if she wanted if she ever wanted to go to the beach with me..now i have my first car we could go there.. SHE SAID NO AGAIN.. NOW SHE ALWAYS WANTED ME TO GET A CAR WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER SO WE COULD DO THESE THINGS ...

Stupidly I panicked, and told her that we could be great together if she gave us a chance but she replied " we're not going through this all over again" .... I asked her did she think about what I asked her before. i asked her if we could meet up sometimes for coffee or for lunch.. she said no... that it wouldnt be happening... that if we saw each other in the street the we would say hello to each other and maybe chat but we wouldnt be arranging anything...its 1 year today since we split... But I was her 1st boyfriend, she was my 1st girlfriend and we were together for 4 years and 12 months ago she wanted to get married and spend the rest of her life with me....I made a mistake...Im in the process of trying to change.. Ive really cut down on the alcohol and Ive bought my first car.. I know a lot more changes will have to be made...

I know im going to get people replying to this saying "move on, theres more fish in the sea", i know that.... but this girl means the world to me... talking with her today was so natural, it was like old times, now as she said she could have caused a scene and told me to f*** off and leave her alone and props to her for not doing that...

Now I will have to leave her alone and if theres contact to me made now then it will have to be done from her side.. Anyway I dont know where she lives now and she changed her number after we split because I was constantly ringing or messaging her ...

The last year of my life has been the hardest.. BUT I've got to look from her point of view too....

Maybe we can be friends again and get back together but if we do, then thats her decision.. she knows how i feel about her....

anyway thanks for the time for reading this.

John

[hurtbylove]

It's hard but you will have to leave her alone for a while.

 

Do try to entertain the possibility of a new relationship.

 

If your life crosses path with your ex-gf again sometime in the future then so be it.

It's unfortunate that she still doesn't feel comfortable hanging out with you yet.. It kind of shows that she isn't completely over you yet, there are still some kind of feelings there.

[John1]

thanks, I agree., I will have to keep my distance for a while and stay away... I know she doesnt hate me, so thats good... Its strange we spoke for about 30 minutes.. she was telling me about her job, her plans over the next few weekends.. she then says you wont guess what happened me yesterday morning.. she goes,she lost her bellybar, bellybutton ring and it started bleeding so she had to put a paper clip in her bellybutton to stop the piercing from closing...

It was good that we can share thoughts and news like that.. I remember when she got her bellybutton pierced... we went into the tattoo shop just looking at designs - this was 2 years ago.. and she was interested so i said I would pay to get the her bellybutton pierced, i remember she came out and the pain she was in...Its great to have memories like that ... I will never forget the good times...At the moment I just aint interested in any other girls...I just aint over Rachel yet.. I have loads of friends who are female... most of my work colleagues are female and we go out for beers.. thats how this mess started... 1 went out 1 night with girls from work.. got plastered drunk and kissed a girl from work.. the 1 week later me and rachel split up..

Im in the process of changing though.... i have really cut down on alcohol.. i have bought my first car... but changes take time and I will never be perfect.. Rachel is a Taurus, she is so so stubborn. I feel, I dont know but I just feel that deep down she has feelings for me.. Like we were together for 4 years and were on the verge of moving in together and I would have proposed.. Anway.. today was productive.. Even though she turned me down on a few occasions.... I put my hand through her hair telling her it was lovely.. she had beautiful red hair.. I love redheads... stubborn and bad temper but i just love them... we just get on so well together... I miss her though.. we used to speak 3-4 times a day... I will keep working on myself... Im not going to give up either.. Im not going to pester her.. If theres contact to be made. then its up to her to make the move.. if i make any more contact i could only drive her away further.. and I dont want to do that..Its just a huge pity that she doesnt want us to try to work things out...But we said our goodbyes today I said to her... Dont worry Im not going to do this, but I can guarantee if I kiss you right her right now there will be sparks, we have such a great chemistry together... she said she gotta go... so we said take care to each other... Now whether we get back together or not .. I just love talking to her so much...It was like old times today... talking to rachel... anyway thanks for your help. much appreciated

 

JOHN

[starlitewalker]

erased for me well being

[fmfisdead]

Hey man, I feel bad for you and your situation, but I think really what you need to do is totally stop pressing the issue. You know what i mean? Give her exactly what she said she wanted, because maybe she just thinks thats what she wanted, but when your just like hi, and keep walking, she may have been expecting a lot more. And with talking about getting back toghether, you gotta let them decide that, and you can't keep asking them you know. I've been in situations like this, and when they are putting the pressure on, and talking about how they want to get back togehther or get toghether and this and that, it really for some reason pushes people away. But once I would know, there were no feelings and we could just hang out, it would get better, the pressure was off, and my mind was able to wander more on that subject, granted im not sure what you did to her. And this is from my perspective and I am a guy, so I'm not sure exactly how she would be thinking.

Get the idea in your mind that she has moved on and try to move on yourself, and remember, you never know what the future holds for anything. I honestly think this is the best thing you could do right now.

[Stingseed]

I must say leave her alone for awhile and she will make a choice. You cannot force her to make the choice. This is hard but I must say that you need to let her go. Sorry this is not what you want to hear but asking questions right now will not help

 

good luck